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38Funny
2Die
213
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October 21, 2011
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DAY 1:

Where the fuck are we again? I’ve only heard of the places in the first 8 seasons.


DAY 2:

I miss my phone.


DAY 3:

Jeff Probst looks like a dick.



DAY 4:

Jeff Probst is a dick.



DAY 5:

Saw old man balls. Again. It’s like every Christmas with my dad in a robe all rolled into every single fucking day.



DAY 6:

IF I CAN’T UPLOAD PICTURES OF IT TO FACEBOOK, FLICKR AND TUMBLR HOW DO I KNOW THIS IS HAPPENING?



DAY 7:

I don’t trust the hot chick. She hasn’t tried to touch my weiner once. :(



DAY 8:

I miss my phone.



DAY 9:

I just thought of a genius tweet but I had to carve it into my leg with a machete. Getting weird looks.



DAY 10:

Ugh, these assholes just keep verbally serious @ replying my jokes.



DAY 11:

I think Jeff Probst is into some really weird shit, sexually. Like INXS in Bangkok-level weird.



DAY 12:

Ate mushrooms. Not the cool kind.



DAY 13:

I miss my phone.



DAY 14:

I CAN’T PROPERLY CLEAN MY PENIS IF I DON’T MASTURBATE IN THE WATER, YOU WEIRDOS!



DAY 15:

I had sex with a towel. It was okay. Not my towel.



DAY 16:

This chick says the stupidest, random shit all the time. I bet she has a blog.



DAY 17:

I’m pretty worried about tribal council tonight. Faking a seizure to get out of a challenge is looking like a bad move. Stupid boner gave me away. Jeff is pretty pissed, but I think I see a hint of turned on in his eye.



DAY 18:

I’m out. Fuck these assholes. I’m glad I don’t have to go home though, because the jury house has the shrimp ramen. Nobody went for the group high five I tried to get going and Probst totally ignored my fist bump.

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