Hey Cersei,
What’s up! It’s your #1 bro, Jaime. I mean, I am your bro, but I’m also more than your bro ;)

Do you get it? By the wink I’m referring to our incestuous sexual relationship. I couldn’t figure out how to do a wink emoji so I just had to go old-school and do a semicolon and a parenthesis. Did you hear about the new more diverse emojis they released? Those are cool. Anyway, I’m getting off topic.

The reason I’m writing is because today is National Siblings Day!!! Did you know that? I heard about it on social media.

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Normally those fake holidays are so dumb (Why does there need to be a National Mead Day? I drink it everyday anyway, I don’t need to appreciate it more on a holiday, lol). But even though it’s like not a real holiday or whatever, I just wanted to send a quick message to say that I appreciate you. As a sibling.

I mean, obviously you know that I love you. Like, sexually and romantically and stuff. So you know I appreciate you in those ways. And I whisper sweet nothings in your ear and also maybe force myself upon you sometimes or whatever. So we have all that going on. But I feel like I never make it clear to you that I also really just appreciate you as a sister.

So, I’m telling you now. You’re a great sister. Well, you’re a great sister to me. You’re a pretty shitty sister to Tyrion lol. I mean, you keep trying to kill him and you blame him for the death of your son Joffrey and the death of our mother since she died in childbirth birthing him and you think that because he is an imp and stuff that he is only a “halfman” or a “demon monkey” or a “lil’ harbinger of doom” or whatever. So forgetting all that and just considering how you treat me, you’re a great sibling (and again, no, I’m not talking about the incest stuff!!! Just the normal sister stuff, like wresting power from our father through political cunning in order to promote your own increasingly paranoid political aspirations).

Anyway, I love you sis (both as a sis and as my incestuous lover who has fathered our three incest babies).

Your bro,
Jamie

P.S. — I was thinking of framing this photo of us. I know photos don’t exist in the diegesis of our fictional world or whatever, but still, I think it’d be super cute!

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