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FROM THE DESK-ICA ALBA OF MR. GENE SHALIT

 

Hi! I’m Gene Shalit. Remember me? If I hadn’t been a movie critic, my only other career option would’ve been the mascot of a pizzeria.

Ever realized that I am 86 YEARS OLD?? That’s a JUSTIN LONG time! You probably thought that I was “GONE BABY GONE”. But I’m still here, and I’d like to make a few more pun-ny lists before I “DIE HARD”.  

 

2011 was a really GOOD year, FELLAS! Here’s  my re-“VIEW TO A KILL”!

 

The prince asked Kate, “Willia-marry me?” ...She said yes!

Pregnancy rumors abound after she rubbed her Middle a ton!

 

Kenya believe this? The Donald was Trump-ed in his quest to discredit the President by claiming he wasn’t born in America. Way to “PEARL HARBOR” a grudge!  

Obama then quickly presented his birth certificate and showed him Oahu’s the boss!

 

Hosni Mubarak was in de-Nile that his country was getting E-gyp’d!

Somebody needs to straighten this guy out– anybody know a good Cairo-practor?

 

Teenybopper Justin was involved in some Bieby-daddy drama when a crazed fan tried to get him to take a paternity test!

“Bieb-er?” he said. “I hardly know ‘er!”

 

Kris got to Hump – for FREE – for 72 days – before his wife went a-Kardashian off to a divorce lawyer!

Shame! I thought they were a good match. He’s named “Hump”hries, and she’s got a camel toe!

 

The U.S. finally makes a formal decision to get out of Iraq – what took Saddam long?

 

Osama has bin Laden with press ever since he died! Nobody’s sorry – as far as bad guys go, he’s Abbott as bad as they get. I Qaeda told you that years ago.

SEAL you later, you jerk – Feliz NAVY-death!

 

Thanks for your time. I’m Gene Shalit. Every day is Movember.

Happy “2012” starring John Cusack! 

 

@TheMichaelLake

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