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Published May 23, 2011

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has accused Western countries of plotting to "cause drought" in Iran by using high tech equipment to drain the clouds of raindrops. Mahmoud, if the west could drain clouds, could you imagine the plumbing fees? And you thought running a snake down your toilet fix was expensive?

New York City has banned smoking in all public parks, beaches and pedestrian plazas. The ban will be enforced by a $50 fine. New York is getting tough. This fine is only to be slightly outdone by the $100 fine for vehicular homicide.

If Maria Shriver decides to file for divorce from Arnold Schwarzenegger, the payout could put Tiger Woods' $110 million divorce to shame. Get ready to see Arnold in some movies fast folks. He’ll be thrusting through action flicks quicker than he thrusts through a maid staff.

 

The much-mocked hat worn by Princess Beatrice to Britain's royal wedding last month -- widely described as looking like a toilet seat — sold for $131,000 on eBay. The hat looks like a toilet seat, which means the head below looks like a turd.

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