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November 05, 2017

Aren't Mondays fun? What about the office isn't straight business and money and joy?

How fresh to wake tomorrow to meet your gleaming boss with fresh ideas to call prospects from the phone book and sell our services even though sometimes we’re out of stock, but we’ll apologize. Leave a five star review for my workplace because we care enough to know when to not. First time customers get a 76% satisfaction guarantee. Long time customers get a holiday brochure in the mail and the occasional 5% discount on items under $9.99. Last week our engineer caught his earlobe in the industrial folding machine. Those who received greeting cards with blood later learned to respect the sacrifice we make every day. Diminishing our reputation one broken item at a time is hard work. “Most Likely to Succeed”, in high school. Now I’m 34 with full body psoriasis wearing hand me downs from my cousin in college who asked me last week why I had so many fruit flies in my car which stalls when I’m merging. I bite my thumb and experience grotesque indigestion.