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119Funny
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October 07, 2014
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Everything this will be. And everything it won't.

Welcome to Funny Or Die News.

The launch of a department exclusively dedicated to topical content marks an important chapter for the site, expanding the reach of Funny Or Die. What you see and read here today is just the beginning. We are very excited to discover and explore, crafting a world where news junkies and humor fans can find common ground.

We’ll be covering everything, meaning that you could actually come to Funny Or Die News to stay fully informed and get a ton of laughs. So check back throughout the day as we’ll be creating regular content that falls in line with the daily news cycle.

And let me make this clear: this certainly isn’t some desperate traffic grab, gaming our website to show up in the search results for anything you may be looking up. Below are some examples of topics we’ll cover:

  • Barack Obama
  • Barack Obama presidency
  • Barack Obama devil
  • Barack Obama how long til not black
  • Ferguson
  • Ferguson police brutality
  • Ferguson video where can i find
  • Ferguson clarissa explains
  • ISIS
  • ISIL
  • is it ISIS or ISIL
  • ISIS should I be afraid
  • ebola
  • ebola how do i get
  • ebola i think my grandma has but i’m not sure she’s been sick for a while
  • ebola white people only?
  • i met a black guy do i have ebola

Yes, those sound like weighty issues for our team. And they are. We take things seriously here at Funny Or Die News, eschewing click-baity, salacious topics that would come across as SEO-centric. Here are some examples of topics we certainly will not hit on:

  • nudes
  • celebrity sex videos
  • kim kardashian sex tape
  • kim kardashian sex tape okay to still be turned on by?
  • kim kardashian sex tape back in style
  • bo derek young sexy
  • tommy boy pool scene
  • nude nude nude hot
  • sexy nudes
  • if i print out nudes, how many can i fit in pocket
  • bigger pants for nudes where to buy
  • “how nude!” full house stephanie tanner porno parody xxx
  • take out genitals in public what happens
  • how many genitals in public means arrest
  • show police my genitals they’ll understand?
  • police officer has to put my genitals away for me is that harassment
  • train going in tunnel sort of like sex
  • how many sex can have on train
  • amtrak ticket prices group rate
  • indiana jones scene where he says ‘no ticket’

Funny Or Die News will be a reliable source for what matters to you. Because that’s what matters to us. And if you ever feel like we’re not covering what you care about, write us an email. Here are some suggested subject lines:

  • What time does the super bowl start
  • scandal
  • daylight saving when
  • Dustin Hoffman net worth
  • chinese food nearby
  • google.com
  • dog videos
  • doggy videos
  • shelly hirsch what is she up to now
  • how many calories chipotle

I cannot wait to read your feedback and for Funny Or Die News to be a part of all our lives.

Sincerely,
Dan Abramson
Editor-in-Grow-Penis-Easy-Clooney-Wedding


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