Donald Trump met with over 100 black pastors and clergy members earlier this week believing that they would all be endorsing him for president. Only one pastor came out of that meeting doing so. Most were incredibly critical of Trump’s rhetoric on the campaign trail and wanted to discuss with the candidate his approach to racial issues in the country.

Yet the man in the orange skin suit insists the meeting was to endorse him, which, while untrue, reveals Trump’s troubling logic when it comes to endorsements. Anyone meeting with him surely is obsessed with him. Here is who else he believes has endorsed him.

  • McDonald’s! Trump went into the fast-food franchise once, ordered a McFlurry, and when the cashier repeated his order back to him, Trump smiled widely and thought to himself, “Ah yes, an endorsement!”
  • Rolph, his doorman! Donald Trump’s doorman lets him into his own building every day, almost as if his employment depends on doing so! “Good day, Mr. Trump,” his doorman says, to which Trump declares, “Wonderful! Another endorsement!”
  • Paris! The entire city of Paris has a statue dedicated to Trump! Well, it’s pronounced “Arc de Triomphe,” but surely that’s just the idiot Frenchman’s translation of the great businessman’s surname. “Methinks that’s an endorsement!” says Trump.
  • Coca Cola! The candidate custom ordered a bundle of two-liter bottles, something that everyone can do, to say “Share A Coke With Donald Trump!” Refusing to admit this was a staged endorsement, Trump excitedly proclaims, “Mmm, mmm, another tasty endorsement!”
  • A timid woman on the street that he saw as he drove by! “That walking baby vessel did a double take as I drove by in my limousine. She recognized me! Smells like an endorsement, though, it’s from a woman so it does not count.”
  • A highway tollbooth: Later on that same trip when the limousine passed through a tollbooth and the automated neon sign accepted its E-Z Pass, Trump peeped his head through the car’s divider, looked at his miserable driver — another man who has endorsed him believe it or be forced to believe it — and said, “You see that? This tollbooth let us through and that, my dear personal close employed friend, is an endorsement!”

Ah yes, and the word is not “endorsement,” it’s “the skewed perception of an egomaniac!"We all make mistakes!

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