A new lottery ran by an English company nicknamed the “win-a-baby” lottery, after its grand prize of fertility treatments for couples looking to conceive, has received some scrutiny from celebrities including Angelina Jolie. This after Jolie foiled the first attempt at a win-a-baby lottery, THAT TIME RAN BY HER HUSBAND BRAD
"Please take one...I'm so tired"
A Ugandan bomb awareness squad made a horrifying discovery when they traveled to a school to teach the children how to spot land mines. They found they were using an unexploded bomb as a recess bell. The team confiscated the “bell,” BUT LUCKILY LEFT THE CHILDREN THEIR HOMECOMING FLOAT
A medical marijuana superstore called the “Wal-Mart of Weed” has opened in Arizona. Much like the regular Wal-Mart, the store is already trying to unionize. Says the employee’s union representative: Management’s views on profit sharing to maximize employee engagement...IS HARSHING MY BUZZ MAN!
A former Nazi vacation resort located on the Baltic Coast is in the process of being converted to a youth hostel for travelers. This will provide an exciting twist from traditional hostels, from getting robbed in your sleep, to getting robbed in your sleep BY NAZIS!
The resort was formerly used as a relaxation camp for Nazi soldiers during the war. The itinerary included such fun activities as the “3-Legged Aryan Race”,” The Third Hike”, and of course “CampFUHRERS”
The long stretch of coastline near the resort once contained many species of fish, all of which have since become extinct. Not surprisingly, NONE OF THESE FISH HAD BLOND HAIR AND BLUE EYES.
In recent interviews, stars of the Harry Potter franchise have discussed finding it difficult to move on from their former life. They can’t even act like normal teenage stars in some cases, mainly because STRIPPERS DON’T ACCEPT GALLEONS
The Georgian government recently arrested a group of photographers fearing them to be Russian spies trying to infiltrate the government, the leader of these being Giorgi Abdaladze or “Shady Giorgi” as he’s commonly known. The government credits two of its security agents with the arrest, “MORAL BORIS” and “TRUSTWORTHY NATASHA”
Elizabeth Smart, the victim of a highly publicized 2003 kidnapping, was introduced as the new “Kidnapping Expert” for ABC news. In a related story, ESPN has named Lebron James as their new “WINNING CHAMPIONSHIPS EXPERT”
CNN recently announced that it would be canceling former New York Governor Elliott Spitzer’s talk show for the fall season. Spitzer will still be paid for the rest of his contract though, AS HE MADE CNN PUT THE MONEY ON THE NIGHTSTAND BEFORE THEY STARTED!
For Fat Neil Update, I'm Fat Neil. Goodnight, and #poppop