- Never get in an elevator with more than three monkeys.
- Look both ways before you pickpocket a monk.
- Never eat sausage in a kibbutz.
- Don’t smile when you mow your lawn.
- Always tip your hat to a midget.
- Never go bowling with a vegetarian.
- If you can’t spell it – don’t eat it.
- Never sell Girl Scout cookies to the Amish.
- Never let your daughter date a chimney sweep.
- Always count your chickens before they molt.
- Never take a shower with your butcher.
- Always keep an extra whistle in your sock.