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October 01, 2014
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Secret Service director Julia Pierson resigned today, in the wake of a number of security scandals.

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Washington won’t have ol’ Julia to kick around anymore.

Secret Service director Julia Pierson resigned today, in the wake of a number of security scandals.

“Today Julia Pierson, the Director of the United States Secret Service, offered her resignation, and I accepted it. I salute her 30 years of distinguished service to the Secret Service and the Nation,” Secretary of Homeland Security Jet Johnson told Fox News.

Pierson’s resignation comes on the heels of a number of shocking security lapses on the part of the Secret Service, including an incident where a man armed with a knife scaled the White House fence and ran into the East Wing, and another where a felon carrying a gun shared an elevator with the President.

Pierson presumably resigned before she could be forced to admit that John Wilkes Booth was never caught and is still skulking around theatres.

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