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August 06, 2017
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“Vulcans were given the right to own land fifty years ago, and were able to vote fifteen years after that. It’s about time I see one of us pointy-eared bastards on T.V.”

LOS ANGELES, CA — CBS’ new Star Trek: Discovery has boldly gone where no man has gone before by hiring an actual Vulcan.

V’ler Turak, a Chicago native, has been cast as the level-headed Sallera, a Vulcan science officer that works aboard the USS Discovery.

This news has taken the entertainment world by storm when it was announced by Discovery’s co-creator Alex Kurtzman at a Los Angeles press conference.

“Suck it, Jenji,” Kurtzman said in reference to Jenji Kohan, creator of Orange Is The New Black. “We’re officially the most diverse.”

Indeed, Discovery is the first network show in history to include an alien in its cast.

“This has been my dream for so many years,” Turak said at a press conference in New York, where humans and alien species alike gathered to discuss and celebrate the new series. “When I was a child, it was considered absurd to see someone like myself on television.”

Even today, extraterrestrials are grossly underrepresented in the entertainment industry. According to Pew Research Center, 89 percent of characters on daytime television are human, while the other 11 percent are alien or other.

“There are so many stereotypes attached to my species today, and hopefully Turak will prove people wrong,” said Jankal Lorcan, a longtime fan of the show. “Vulcans were given the right to own land fifty years ago, and were able to vote fifteen years after that. It’s about time I see one of us pointy-eared bastards on T.V.”

Other fans, however, are not as happy. “It’s ridiculous,” said longtime fan George Whitman, a human. “They have an agenda. And I don’t like it,” he grunted as he wiped a cheeto-covered index finger on his white ‘Don’t mess with Texas’ t-shirt.

“I don’t know what the agenda is exactly, but I know it’s bad,” Whitman insisted.

The discussion over diversity has always been a difficult one. Turak hopes to change that, one logical action at a time.

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