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August 14, 2008
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I notice a lot of people get angry at the quote unquote "die bombers".  First, we need to realize that some people in this world are unloved.  While we grew up with Nintendo's and hoola hoops, they lived under a bridge, luring small children in with promises of candy.  To them, the thought of humour picks at their dry calloused skin like scratching an infected rash picked up from Candy the one-legged stripper (not that I know anything about that....*awkward glances*).  These people are incapable of laughter, or any emotion other than sadistic rage.  So instead of getting angry at said people, and by doing so actually becomming like them, we should instead pity them.  For while we're all sitting at home, enjoying a rousing game of charades, they're likely out plotting the next way to lure the children to their bridge of death.

But I understand that sometimes making fun of people is just too amusing to pass up.  Heck I'm sure we've all made a joke or two in our day that has pretty much punched our ticket straight to hell.  But if you're going to take that route, you should at least try to be witty and funny while doing so.  After all the website is Funny or Die.  Shouting out "You die bombers can eat my ass hairs!!" is done out of anger, not comedy.  Therefore I have done my public duty by coming up with Jeffskies Official Die Bomber insults (Now with 30% more wit!).

- Weren't you in that war movie about bombers with James Franco, DieBoys?

- I heard your favorite Canadian Football team is the Winnipeg Die Bombers

- Are you from Tibet, because I hear you worship the DIElai BOMBa

You're welcome!

Your pal,

Jeffskies

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