This week, it was reported that Sudan, the last living male northern white rhino, is under 24-hour armed guard to protect him from poachers. There are now only five northern white rhinos left on the planet, and because Sudan is old and therefore unlikely to reproduce naturally with the remaining females (artificial insemination is also an extremely low-odds prospect, due to Sudan’s low sperm count), I took it upon myself to write to the Make-A-Wish Foundation so they might grant the species one final wish — to meet basketball superstar Tim Duncan. While I appreciate the organization’s prompt response, I vehemently disagree with the terms of their rejection, detailed in the letter below:


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