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January 20, 2016

Trucker Confessional: Love Always Finds A Way

Sometimes fate is on your side. What first appears as a harmless inquiry may actually be the spark that fans the flames of raw unbridled passion.

It was about four years ago just outside of Flagstaff on a lonely stretch of the I-10 when I pulled off into the Super Saver truck stop and fuel station. I always stopped there on account of the spacious restrooms and tasty coffee served so hot that even the devil himself would break a sweat.

Now at the time I’d been hauling beauty products for Johnson & Johnson – you know … skin creams,personal lubricants, baby shampoos – well, when I pull up to the Super Saver I notice this beauty of a rig towing a trailer full of Fleshlights. (I mean I assumed that’s what was inside since the outside was emblazoned with the words: “Fleshlight®#1 Male Masturbator in the World.”)

Of course that caught my eye, you’d have to be blind not to have noticed something like that. Well, I start walking across the lot making a beeline for the shitter,when I see the Fleshlight driver inspecting his tire treads and I throw him the line “Hey partner, I thought I was the #1 male masturbator in the world!” And as he slowly turned his head and shouted, “Ha … that’s doubtful, Ace … that title’s mine” time seemed to freeze and nothing else mattered. Our eyes locked and it was in that moment I knew I had finally found the man of my dreams.

I’ll spare you the sappy details, but a gallon of coffee and two lumberjack breakfast specials later we found ourselves in the cab of my truck engaged in the timeless act of Inflagrante Delicto. I’ve been riding on a 13-L engine for years, but that night I rode him like a blue-ribbon bull at the El Paso rodeo.

As we lay drenched in our own sex, I asked him to marry me. He grabbed my hand and suggested maybe we should slow things up a spell. I grabbed his head, kissed him passionately, then said, “The only thing I slow down for are School Zones and Pedestrian Crossings, baby.” He giggled and I knew he was mine forever.

We’ve been married and hauling loads cross-country together ever since. Funny isn’t it? A little hand-held pussy brought us dick to dick … but true love kept us there.

Drop the hammer and let love in,

Mario Ortega and Anton Bates
Ortega-Bates Trucking Inc. Est. 2012