I literally got the best cold of my life on Tuesday. I know, I know, that’s what I said last winter, but I am serious right now! Legit amazing cold. Ugh, I know I sound like one of those crazy girls I usually make fun of. It’s just–it’s one of those things where you don’t realize what type of cold you were looking for until you have it, you know?
So get this: on Tuesday morning I wake up and my eyes have these little crusty balls in the corners that are gluing my lashes together and my lids shut. And I was like OMG stop. I cannot. I have a cold?!?! So. Cute. And then, classic me, the first thought to cross my mind while I was still in bed is, “but what does this cold want to do with me?” Legit should have slapped myself for that type of self-deprecating thought.
So anyway, then I dragged my body out of bed and over to the mirror, looked at my snot encrusted nostrils and said, “you are a strong and beautiful woman and you are worth it. You deserve this cold!” And I haven’t looked back since.
“You are a strong and beautiful woman and you are worth it. You deserve this cold!”
There are things this cold does that I just think are so freaking sweet. For one, the skin above my upper lips has gotten raw and flaky from blowing my nose so much, so I’ve been putting chapstick on it. Oily sheen + rosy glow combo?? Like, I am dead right now.
The weirdest thing is just like, now that I have this cold it makes me realize how subpar all my other previous sicknesses have been, you know? Like, I know I told you I loved my allergies this past spring but honestly? I really don’t think that was love now that I have my current cold. And the food poisoning I got when I went to Mexico and accidentally ate the ice over Columbus Day Weekend was super fun, sure, but I’m just over 24-hour bugs.
I know it sounds like things are happening really fast but you should just see the way my lymph nodes swell with this cold. I have never seen my immune system work harder to fend something off. It just feels like the real deal. I mean there are legit canker sores popping up all over my tongue! Like, I’m sorry, what! This is too much! I’m obsessed and that’s just how I FEEL!!!
“I have never seen my immune system work harder to fend something off. It just feels like the real deal.”
This cold is so cute that I legit just want to stay at home on the couch and snuggle under the blankets all day. And then get really feverishly hot and take the blankets off. And then get a bout of chills that makes me want to snuggle again! Ugh, kill me I’m being so annoying! I’m sure the initial glow (AKA fever lol!) will wear off and eventually I’ll want to go outside, or taste my food again, but right now I am fully under this cold’s spell, which actually makes me feel like I’m in a bubble because my sinuses are all blocked up.
My favorite thing about my cold? I don’t know, I guess just that it stuck around. The phlegm in my throat feels almost bronchitis-level deep! You know, they always say love will find you when you’re not looking for it or riding the subway without gloves…
Okay, so I am the legit worst for saying this and seriously DO NOT kill me, but honestly? I think this cold could really turn into something…chronic. Ugh NVM you can kill me, I deserve it!!! But seriously I’m really into my cold and I’m bringing it to your wedding.