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August 05, 2014

We sent one of our writers undercover to find out exactly what the penis of the new Toys "R" Us anatomically-correct doll looks like.

Toys “R” Us is now selling an anatomically-correct baby doll. After the Today Show segment on parental outrage, the world is abuzz about this doll. But the question on everyone’s lips is “What does this baby doll’s penis look like, exactly?” So we sent one of our writers undercover as a concerned uncle to see if he could uncover the answer to this question. What follows is his actual conversation with a Toys “R” Us customer service agent.

Thank you for shopping with Toys “R” Us! Please wait for an agent to respond. Your approximate wait time is 3 second(s).
You are being connected to an agent.
Lee: Thanks for chatting with the ‘R Us Family! My name is Lee. I’m your ‘R Us Web Specialist. May I have your name before we get started?
Jack: jack
Jack: hi lee
Lee: Hi Jack! How are you today?
Jack: im good how are you
Lee: I am great! Thanks for asking.
Lee: How may I help you today?
Jack: im on the page for the you and me 16 inch mommy change my diaper baby doll anatomically correct
Jack: looking for a gift for my neice
Jack: dose the baby have a penis
Lee: Yes you are correct it does.
Jack: is there any image of the doll penis
Jack: i want to make sure its ok for my neice
Lee: Sorry about the delay but I am not seeing a picture of the penis just the doll but it says it is anatomically correct.
Jack: hm
Jack: do you know if the baby is circumsized
Jack: my brother will be upset with my if i give my neice an uncircumsized doll
Lee: I appreciate you staying with me, I’ll just be another moment.
Lee: At the bottom of the page you will see reviews and there is one that a mom bought it for her daughters and was happy because it looked like their little brother but says nothing about circumcision.
Lee: I believe you can ask about it there.
Jack: okay thank you so much
Lee: You are most welcome! Can I help with anything else today?
Jack: no thanks thats all!
Jack: thanks for trying to find the picture of the penis. i will ask the moms!
Jack: have a good day!

Truly revelatory stuff. While the world still wonders exactly what this baby dick looks like, we now know, at the very least, how helpful Toys “R” Us employees are to a prospective customer. Truly, Toys “R” Us is an excellent company.