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June 22, 2017

Love knows no bounds. Not even arson.

What an amazing day, you guys. I met a girl today and it turns out she likes The Office and Chance The Rapper!!! This fits all of my criteria. We can just chill and listen to Coloring Book and watch The Office. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.

Now look, I get it, this is probably just a fleeting thing,it’s just going to last the summer. No way, Jose. She knows all the words to‘Cocoa Butter Kisses’. Her favorite character in The Office is MOSE! Like are you kidding me??? I’ve had literal dreams about meeting a girl like this. There’s no way she can be wrong for me,right? I mean, she has all ten fingers on one hand, but she knows Acid Rap!

I mean it makes sense that we are soul mates. She obviously appreciates good comedy and is lover of dope rap music. She even knows the Lazy Scranton song word for word. She’s every guy’s dream! Never mind the fact that she doesn’t have a nose and can’t smell things, she metthe guy that played Darryl at a mall in Virginia once!

We spent all of last weekend just hanging out in my room listening to Donnie Trumpet & The Social Experiment and watched the entire two and a half hour YouTube video compilation of all the blooers from The Office. And she knew the one where Oscar tried to do a southern accent. It was amazing. I think I’m going to buy a wedding ring next week; Ican’t wait to start my life with her. It may seem crazy but the fact that she burned down an eighth of the Amazon rain forest on a dare and created an uninhabitable wilderness for hundreds, if not thousands of endangered animals and hence made them relocate to less fruitful areas with almost no edible vegetation doesn’t matter to me because we took a ‘Which Office Character Are You?” quiz on Buzzfeed and I got Jim and she got Pam!

WE ARE SOUP SNAKES!!! (For all my REAL Office/ Chance fans out there

GAH! (Chance voice)

Let me know if you get these references and are a girl just in case something goes wrong.