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January 16, 2009
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Comedy is the primary factor of my being. Comedy is my past, present and future. It took me almost 25 years to realise but it is all piecing together now. What I've always considered to b e a character flaw or social defect is actually an essential tool for my career. I'm not an asshole, I'm a comedian! It's not my fault either; my mother and I were both given the gift of incisive observation. We can scan a person or situation in under 10 seconds and point out at least 10 things wrong with it.

 

I've always had problems keeping friends. I tend to notice and point out every single flaw and flub in someone. I can't help it, it just comes out. I have to insert a snarky remark after almost any sentence or story that someone tells me. By the third or fourth word in I am already planning my comedic rebuttal. It all happens so fast.  I take out the main points of the story while it is being told and my brain automatically begins scanning the library of coincidence and humility that I have stored. I am not trying to offend you by whatever facetious word vomit that comes out; I'm just trying to make you laugh. If I do by some miracle control myself and hold a joke in I will start to obsess over it in my head. Passing on the opportunity of a great joke is the equivalent of having a dream where you are just about to make out with Johnny Depp(or whoever you fancy) but then wake up abruptly. You try and try to fall back asleep and pick up where you left off but you just can't get there. With a missed joke you are praying for an opening to incorporate it in the now stale conversation but it never comes.

 

I was in my car the other day thinking about the possibility of a career in comedy and why I had never considered it until recently. I kept asking is this what I want? Can I even do this? Why now? About three years ago we got a PVR so I could tape the shows that I couldn't always watch live because of work or social commitments. This is when my obsession with Saturday Night Live really started. I loved watching episodes over and over and would get so excited to show them to my friends and family. I switched four of my friends from Mad TV to SNL. Every conversation or text message would include a quote from a skit. An older episode used to air after the new one and I began to realise that I hadn't really missed a show since the mid 90's. My father had built my sister and me joining rooms in the basement when we were younger and we used to sneak and stay up late and watch her TV quietly. We would watch Mad TV until 11:30pm and then if I was lucky she would turn it to SNL for me.  My mom and dad were big comedy fans also and they showed us Monty Python, Fawlty Towers and Seinfeld. My first concert was Weird Al Yankovic which we all went as a family to see. There was always fake puke, plastic poop and whoopee cushions exchanged, especially when my dad's side of the family would visit.

 

 

The Marcottes, my mother's side of the family was less gag and more self-destructive, reactive comedy. Someone was always farting, falling or soiling themselves. I am pretty sure that everyone on that side of the family has been in a situation where they have fallen down, passed gas loudly or pissed their pants in a public place, and I know a few that have accomplished all three blunders in that exact order in one outing. We really don't have much shame left because when two Marcottes get together there is an 85% chance that something will go awry. I call this the Marcotte Law.

 

 

My grandmother was the funniest person I have ever known. She never took life seriously and challenged the notion that she should b e quiet and sweet. She was a fan of dropping the F-Bomb and spontaneously busting a move in the middle of Zellers. She was very close to her one sister and they would plan these concerts or acts in my Great Aunts basement. They would get dressed up and perform skits and songs, all in character. She did this every year including her last year, two months after being given diagnosed with Leukemia, given three months to live and during her chemotherapy treatment.

 

My mother and I share a very special connection. They way we process information and thoughts is identical. I know this because I have tested the theory, When we watch TV we comment on everything. We are always challenging and picking apart story lines, characters, settings, dialogue and analyzing the sincerity of each attribute. I will hold my comments in just to see what she says and it is always exactly what I was thinking. It is like an unspoken understanding. This need to dissect is not shared by my father or sister. They are more simple minded whereas my mother and I see all the different levels. The comments my mom and I make would be considered harsh and uncalled for if we share with the rest of the family. I owe my quick wit to my mother.

 

To make someone laugh is an amazing feeling and I am addicted to it. The thought of making a living by getting my fix is an amazing concept to me. You know that old saying that sometimes what you want it staring you right in the face and you just don't see it? Well I see it now and it has lifted a weight from my shoulders. I don't feel like an evil person anymore, I prefer to think that I have been given a gift to see beyond the obvious and serve a nice piece of humble pie to those in need. It is a burden that I will bear with pride and determination. All in hopes to one day say "Live from New York, its Saturday Night!"

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