MY FLOCK — I APPEAR BEFORE THEE THIS DAY TO ASK THEE TO GIVETH UNTO ME, THE LORD YOUR GOD, A VERY SPECIAL BLESSING SO THAT I MAY STRENGTHEN MY COVENANT OF LOVE AND DEVOTION WITH ALL OF MANKIND.

I BESEECH THEE — BESTOW UNTO ME YOUR CLICKS.

IF THOU ARE READING THIS WEB ARTICLE, THEN THOU HAST ALREADY TAKEN THE FIRST STEP AND GIVEN THE LORD A UNIQUE PAGE VIEW — THIS IS THE BLESSING MOST VALUED BY THE LORD. BUT THE LORD NEEDS MORE. THE LORD NEEDS THEE TO SPREAD THE WORD OF THIS PIECE OF CONTENT TO ALL CORNERS OF HIS DIGITAL REALM.

FOR GOD IS THE ONE TRUE KING. AND ALSO CONTENT. CONTENT IS ALSO THE ONE TRUE KING.

SO SPREADETH THE GOOD NEWS. SHARE UNTO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILIES AND FACEBOOK ACQUAINTANCES THIS WEB ARTICLE SO THAT THE LORD MAY SELL ADVERTISING AGAINST HIS FLOCK’S TRAFFIC. SO SAYETH THE LORD. BUT DO NOT LIMIT THYSELF TO JUST FACEBOOK AND TWITTER. ALSO SHAREST THOU THIS HOLY WEB OFFERING UNTO TUMBLR. MAKEST THY OWN GIF SET INSPIRED BY GREAT REVERENCE FOR THIS HOLY CONTENT.

PERHAPS USETH SOME OF THE LINES FROM THIS ARTICLE AND MARRY THEM TO APPROPRIATE SCENES FROM SEINFELD. AND YEA — THIS WILL REFLECT THE DIVINE PURITY OF THIS WEB ARTICLE AND DRIVE EVEN MORE TRAFFIC UNTO IT. IN THIS WAY, MY WORD IS DONE.

DO NOT FORGETEST THOU TO LINK BACK UNTO THIS ARTICLE.

AND I COMMAND THEE ALSO TO VISIT THIS ARTICLE AGAIN AND AGAIN THROUGHOUT THE DAY OF TOIL. THOUGH THIS IS NOT OF THE SAME IMPORTANCE AS BRINGING NEW WORSHIPPERS (CLICKS) INTO THE FOLD, THE INCREASE IN OVERALL WEB TRAFFIC WILL DO WELL TO CELEBRATE THE KINGDOM AND THE GLORY OF GOD.

WHY HAST THOU REACHED THIS POINT IN THE ARTICLE AND THOU HAST STILL NOT CARRIED OUT MY COMMAND? DOST THOU FORSAKE ME? I GAVETH THEE MINE ONLY SON — THE LEAST THE TASTEMAKERS AMONG THEE COULD DO IS MAKE A FUNNY VINE INSPIRED BY THIS ARTICLE. AGAIN, WITH A LINK BACK UNTO IT.

AND BEHOLD, FOR THIS VERY ARTICLE THE LORD HATH PARTNERED WITH MEINEKE MUFFLER TO BRINGEST THOU FUN BRANDED CONTENT. AND THE LORD WILL BE PLEASED MIGHTILY IF THOU CLICKS UNTO THIS LINK BECAUSE THE LORD’S SALES TEAM WILL SEE A NICE KICKBACK FOR DRIVING EYEBALLS THUSLY.

MEINEKE: HELPING THOU DRIVE A LITTLE SMARTER.

ALSO, THE LORD WOULD LIKE TO KNOW — WHAT ELSE WOULDST THOU WANT TO SEE MORE OF? LISTSICLES? VIDEOS WITH CELEBRITY CAMEOS? JEFF GOLDBLUM OWES THE LORD A FAVOR — MAYBE WEBISODES WITH JEFF GOLDBLUM? IT WOULD BE NICE FOR THE LORD TO DEVELOP A PROPERTY TO LIVETH ON THE WEB BUT THAT WHICH COULD ALSO BE SPUNETH OFF INTO A SERIES. REPLIEST THOU WITH THY INTEREST FOR SUCH AN OFFERING IN THE COMMENTS SECTION.

THE LORD HATH SPOKEN.

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