Full Credits

Stats & Data

September 11, 2010

"Cough! Cough!" Granny, could you die by the Taco place?

Teenagers.  They're the "Team Members" or "associates" who shovel out the no-fat, no-calorie, all-you-taste-is-cold yogurt into corrugated waffle cones, or serve up deep-fried salads or Mexicali Nacho Boils or Neutron-Baked potato skins, Coney Pups smothered in Cheddo-sauce, or Oak Tree Bark muffins.  Keep clear of these unless you want teeth like Grandma Hazel's.  

They hate it.  But they hate you more.

They reached for the stars and ended up grabbing a lifetime gig at Just Gyros 'n More.

 Here’s a Desirability Quotient (DQ) test for a teen job:

1.  Will I see my friends?  Can I sneak them free food?

2.  Will I see a lot of girls?  Or boys?

3.  Will my brain-dead zombie stare keep customers to a minimum? 

4.  Will a customer go away if I don’t speak?  Are customers an illusion?

5.  Will customers be allowed to interrupt my personal phone calls?

6.  Will I have to smile at customers?  Is it a sign of weakness?

7.  Is it okay to have blood on my uniform?

8.  Is being nice to a customer dishonest?

9.  Will I see a lot of girls?  Or boys?
10. Is that a pimple?

And the answer to all of these is "Yes."  Except for the smile.  Whatever.