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Published March 29, 2014

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As you can see at upper-left, MASH, the original film, did not have asterisks in its title. But as we all know, M*A*S*H, the television series, did.

Eleven years later, the asterisks disappeared for the M*A*S*H spinoff, AfterMASH, which premiered in September 1983—seven months after the M*A*S*H finale.

Yet the asterisks—even more asterisks, actually—were back for W*A*L*T*E*R, the Gary Burghoff vehicle that debuted ten months after AfterMASH. (W*A*L*T*E*R was never picked up, so only the pilot episode was filmed.)

No asterisks. Asterisks. No asterisks. Asterisks.

How fickle can these asterisks be that they think they can just come and go as they please?!

 

Through early morning fog I see

The “little star” translated from Greek

I press the 8 and the Shift key

They nest between letters A to Z

 

Those asterisks are shameless

The credits editor is blameless

‘Cause they think they can stay or leave as they please

 

Typographical symbols usually stay

Upon the page where they lay

Sometimes footnotes they do play

Or to make obscene words okay

 

Asterisks are shameless

The credits editor is blameless

‘Cause they think they can stay or leave as they please

 

These six-point stars pierce acronyms

You don’t notice til the program begins

And then much to your chagrin

They’re gone from the next show off of which it spins

 

Those asterisks are shameless

The credits editor is blameless

‘Cause they think they can stay or leave as they please

 

MASH credits always tested me

I'm sure Roger Maris would agree

Asterisks weren’t there in ‘70

And they left again in ‘83

 

Asterisks are shameless

The credits editor is blameless

‘Cause they think they can stay or leave as they please

They think they can stay

or leave

as

they

please…

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