If you’re like me your body is full of holiday booze, food, and you have no desire to work. Instead, enjoy these twenty two tweets, and avoid real life!
At the first Thanksgiving, do you think any pilgrims ate so much they had to loosen the buckle on their hats?
— Paul Rust (@paulrust) November 23, 2017
This is basically halfway to being a children's book pic.twitter.com/DjwUPHy9Wz
— Erin McGuire (@e_mcguire_) November 29, 2017
Once accidentally liked an insta of someone I hadn’t spoken to in yrs so I had to like 1/2 her entire feed & reach out abt getting lunch
— Kate Berlant (@kateberlant) November 29, 2017
It's that time of the year again pic.twitter.com/L4GgbqV8Tk
— Zåy ❁ (@Trekles) November 29, 2017
Can I OD on melatonin? I’m sorry, I mean “May I?”
— Nikki Glaser (@NikkiGlaser) December 1, 2017
“Now I'm falling asleep
— Madison Sinclair (@MaddSinclair) December 1, 2017
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
AND HES ALSO A LAB” pic.twitter.com/9RNIxKlgdf
I didn't think it could get worse... pic.twitter.com/4zmSpEgXwg
— Kalen Allen (@TheKalenAllen) November 25, 2017
So glad I finally got around to correcting that spelling mistake I made to the girl I fancied 8 years ago pic.twitter.com/zbsoGn9pOI
— Adam Hess (@adamhess1) February 7, 2016
MY WEDDING: tetris theme plays as i slowly inch down the aisle, trying to perfectly fit my finger in the ring
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) November 30, 2017
My favorite thing is that one Japanese game show where they have to figure out what's chocolate and what's not pic.twitter.com/WsstRlEiy9
— Fizzy (@FizzySodaWave) November 27, 2017
Adolescence versus adulthood. pic.twitter.com/Is2WbCJdnw
— Alex Copeland (@text_quest) November 29, 2017
— Niki Reitmayer (@NikiReitmayer) November 28, 2017
— Lil' Slugger (@dinopreto) November 26, 2017
So I have found the worst thing. pic.twitter.com/aBEenJIgnp
— Lydia Nicholas (@LydNicholas) November 28, 2017
give em the ol razzle dazzle pic.twitter.com/9U7CASkhKs
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) November 27, 2017
Instinct prevents the mother from closing her jaws as she carries her young from the riverside nest, into the water. pic.twitter.com/dBx70BGmv1
— D Attenborough (@Attenboroughs_D) November 27, 2017
Bring all the groceries in at once or die trying.
— Miss TeaSea (@b4sage) December 19, 2015
Cannot stop laughing at this pic.twitter.com/C6HjAiyDij
— Jacen Burrows (@Jacen_art) November 27, 2017
With great power bottoms comes great responsibility. pic.twitter.com/RVKrLn4pnp
— Ben Siemon (@BenjaminJS) November 23, 2017
Aubrey Plaza setting up a desktop computer in a Starbucks (2008) pic.twitter.com/jcaJwQjQXV
— aubrey plaza doing things (@PlazaThings) November 20, 2017
WHY IS THIS THE ONLY BULLSHIT I CAN LAUGH AT ANYMORE I CANT BREATHE pic.twitter.com/GwOes0bPj0
— ari (@nightfiIm) November 20, 2017
reminder that winnie the pooh wore a crop top with no panties and ate his favorite food and loved himself and you can too
— zander (@finah) November 23, 2017
See ya later!