1538 Tuvsm Avenue
Woodmere, NY 11598
March 14, 2099
456 Cornwell Street
Yorktown, NY 23448
To whom it may concern,
Hello, my name is Yolanda Earboats, and I am writing your company because I am absolutely in love with your product. I felt the need to sit down and write out a personal business letter to the company because I have nothing better to do with my time. I found no other way to express my love of your product besides writing this letter and changing my name to Shamwow Earboats, but the latter was not really an option because my husband likes my name as it is now.
Despite the enthusiasm the man on your infomercial displays for the Shamwow, you are probably wondering how, and why I love your product so much. You see, a Shamwow saved my sons life. It was a dark, misty night in November and my son and I were involved in a brutal car crash. I was unharmed aside from minor scrapes and bruises, but my son on the other hand was impaled by the steering wheel. Distraught and in pain, I sopped up the blood around my unconscious son so as not to ruin the upholstery too much, and then I applied the Shamwow to his wounds only to be amazed once again (the blood came right off the upholstery). When I applied the Shamwow, magically all of his wounds were healed and he immediately woke up. Since then, I use the Shamwow to clean everything from my toilets to my dishes to my dog to my husband; always in that order.
I hope that my ebullience has been a reward of some sorts to your wearied ears, and I hope you come out with more products in the Shamwow line. Thank you for your time. I would be much obliged if you could send me any new tester products that you come out with.
Yoland Earboats (Jane Austin)
Enclosures: The Shamwow that I used to clean up my son’s blood with