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Published April 23, 2009 More Info »
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Published April 23, 2009

Since I joined various social groups like Myspace and Facebook I've made some new friends I never would have met otherwise, I've kept in touch with people I might have lost touch with otherwise, and I've reconnected with some people I've lost touch with long ago.  I've met some very interesting people and have enjoyed my correspondences with them.  There are some people, however, who have contacted me, and I have just ignored them.  It's not because they were rude, obnoxious, or insulting; some of them had very nice things to say.  No, these people have violated the most basic rule of online correspondence; learn to freakin' type!

 

 

Although I wouldn't have admitted it at the time, I had some pretty good English teachers in my youth.  I may not have gotten the best grades in English class (I once celebrated because I got a B-) but I did learn my grammar rules and I pride myself in my ability to write in a clear, concise manner.  In fact, what I like about writing is that I can take my time, look over what I write, and ultimately make myself look more intelligent and witty than I actually am.  So when I read something that was supposedly written by an adult and it reads like it was written by a retarded monkey, it irritates me.  I don't know if it's the laziness or how it makes the person who wrote to me look like an idiot, but I just can't bring myself to respond to these people.  These could be the nicest, most intelligent people in the world, but if these people came up to me in person and talked to me the way they typed, I'd pat them on the head, give them a cookie, and go look for their mommy.

 

If you want to write to me, I'd love to hear from you.  But if you are guilty of writing like my examples below, don't bother; I'll just assume your 6-year-old kid got a hold of your Myspace password and decided to say hello.

 

FIRST THERE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO TYPE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.  I CAN'T STAND THESE PEOPLE!  I FEEL LIKE THEY ARE YELLING AT ME AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.  DO THEY THINK I AM SO HARD OF HEARING THAT I CAN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY'RE SAYING WHEN THEY TYPE IN LOWER CASE??  MAYBE THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE "CAPS LOCK" BUTTON AND THEY THINK THEIR COMPUTER IS BROKEN!  I JUST WANT TO SHOUT "HEY!  KEEP IT DOWN!!  I'M RIGHT HERE!!!"  HONESTLY, IF SOMEONE WALKED UP TO YOU ON THE STREET AND YELLED "HELLO!  HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY?" YOU'D PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!!

 

then there are the people who not only dont use capital letters but they also do not use any type of punctuation whatsoever i mean come on the people who invented the english language created the period question mark exclamation point and comma for a reason when you type like this it makes it look like you are talking and talking and talking without taking a breath i get tired just reading this there are actually people who do talk like this and let me ask you do you enjoy talking to those people i use the word talking loosely because you cant get a word in edgewise when someone like this calls me on the phone i give the phone to my cat they dont know the difference whats with these people maybe the voices in their heads just wont shut up and they have to express every freakin thought that pops up does anybody want to hit me yet

 

Some use puncshuation but bad tiping.  There spelling bad and forget how to write sentince.  Sum sentinces have no vurbs.  Thees peepul should use spellcheck or dicshunary ones in a wile.  In the leest thay shud read wut they rite; if sownds rong in hed then rong on emale.  Mak yourself reed a book ones in a wile; currect spellings and sentince structure will sink in.

 

And does ne 1 really lik the abbr's?  I mean wtf?  I don't really believe u r rofl.  I don't mind the occasional lol, (I've used that myself) but if I have to interpret your entire email, then f u you sob!

 

If you are guilty of any of the above offenses, I mean no disrespect; but you are really making yourself look like you belong in special education.  All I ask, if you want to correspond with me, is to take some time and pride in your writing.  After all, you are in charge of everyone's perception of you online; do you really want people to think that you compare life to a box of chocolates?

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