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March 27, 2014

who would have thought that not having money would be totally shitty!


Many say that money makes the world go round. Others say that money will not bring you happiness. I say that I’m broke as hell and won’t have an opinion until I’m financially stable. At the time of writing this, I am a college student, a college student looking to find gainful employment and have a steady source of income. Unfortunately I am yet to find a job, and as a result of that, I’m poor. I’m sure that everything will work out eventually, but right now not having any money to blow is a little less than shitty. I mean, there are so many things you can buy ! You can buy 24 cans of diet coke! Or a puppy! Or 25 cans of diet coke! The possibilities are endless! Then again, maybe there are some advantages to not having a lot of money.


Rap videos have taught me that if you don’t have don’t have stupid amounts of money then you might as well be living in a decent house with your middle class wife and kids. So maybe that’s why when I look at my bank account I black out for a second. I never take the time to actually think about all the things that are good about being broke, like how I seem to appreciate the things that I have more than the things that I want. This may be due to the fact that everything I have is important to me and irreplaceable…mostly because I clearly don’t have the money to replace anything but still. I’m also good at managing my finances but that’s because there’s nothing to manage, which is kind of like saying “I’m an excellent parent” but not having any kids. With that being said, I think I’m an excellent father.



A good dad does anything he can to

put a smile on his kid’s face


I guess I am a little grateful for being able to experience being below the poverty line, I’m growing and learning a lot of things; surely I’ll look back on this time in my life and think “huh! I sure did learn some stuff.” Still, I can honestly say that I want that Bread/cheddar/dough/whatever food slang you use to say money.

I don’t want to be rich, honestly all I want to do is make $900 a month. And that’s doable even for people who are dead, and I’m fucking alive and well. It’s been hard to do but I’ve finally accepted that I will never be as rich as bill gates, Donald Trump, Jay-z, Kanye West, and Scrooge McDuck Combined. Why I thought I’d ever have that much money is beyond me. It probably has something to do with this whole “ I have a huge god complex” thing, but that’s whatever, let’s stop talking about it. The fact that I haven’t found a job that pays me $900, hell even $700, a month is incredibly frustrating. And it’s hard to tell who I’m more angry at: myself for not having found a job yet, or the universe.



Since I haven’t turned into my ultimate world destroying form yet,

I assume that I’m madder at myself.


To me, money is more like a key that allows me to do things that I want such as going to the movies out to eat with friends, going on vacation, getting gifts for people, seeing live shows, getting ingredients for DOPE ass meals and more. I also have more mature reasons for wanting money. For instance, Right now I need money to move out of student housing as soon as possible and pay my college. Whatever the reason may be, this lack of money is currently the malignant tumor in my life, and John Hughes movies are the chemotherapy.



A young Matthew Broderick really knows

How to take the pain away


In an episode of the HBO Series “GIRLS” a character said “I’m okay, I know it looks like I’m not okay now, but I’ll BE okay.” or something along those lines. My main point is that my money troubles, as Rich Homie Quan would say, has got me feeling some type of way.



And that type of way is bad.


Luckily, I’m young, and there’s a %84 chance that things will get better; or at the very least I’ll grow out of it. I don’t have any more words of advice from pop culture characters, so I guess I’ll leave with this. I don’t know shit, and I’m not going to ever pretend like I do. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future but I’ve got a feeling that things will work out for me if I just keep on pushing like Precious. So if you’re having money problems and feel bad then that’s okay. I don’t know what’s going to happen to you, but things usually work out. All right? Cool! Now excuse me while I finish watching Pretty In Pink.