By now, you are probably obsessed with us and that’s okay! Any way you look at it, we really are too good to be real. So, to honor our awesomeness, we have compiled a list of 25 women who also defy reality. And because this is a list of wonderful women composed by wonderful women, we’re not going to do this on some dumb ranking system. Instead, we’ve grouped everyone together into distinct categories in an utopian roundtable of greatness. So, grab a drink, kick off your shoes and join our Lady Camelot as we honor these 25 amazing women.
The following women would definitely make it into our inner circle. They are funny, flawed and fabulous and we’re pretty sure they would make up a really awesome brunch bunch.
Mindy Lahiri, “The Mindy Project”
Mindy loves romantic comedies, fashion and men who are all wrong for her. She’s also hilarious, a great friend and, oh right, a super successful ob/gyn. We would be happy to pop some popcorn, open a bottle of wine and watch “27 Dresses” with her anytime.
Jessica Day, “New Girl”
Jess lives with three guys who are always there for her, but her deepest friendship is with best friend (and model) Cece. She’s goofy, effortlessly hip and rocks bangs with the best of them so, clearly, she was meant to be our BFF.
(Side note: how happy were we when this happened?
So happy!) (And jealous)
Jane Kerkovich-Williams, “Happy Endings”
Jane is that woman in every group who everyone else aspires to be. She has a fantastic job, fantastic marriage and fantastic wardrobe. She’s also cool as sh*& and sometimes a little bit scary. Jane, not only do we want to be your friend, we also kinda want to be you.
Penny Hartz, “Happy Endings”
You know that friend who will go in for a bottle of wine with you at lunch or bring you ice cream when you’re feeling sad? That friend is Penny Hartz. Never afraid to make a fool of herself in the pursuit of love, willing to do anything for her friends and coiner of such catchphrases as “Ah-mahzing,” Penny would make the best friend a girl could ever want.
Lady Mary Crawley, “Downton Abbey”
She’s rich, refined, classy as all hell and yet…there is a touch of sass in Ms. Mary that proves she fits right into this troupe of fictional best friends. Oh Mary, you’re the Charlotte of the group and we love you for it.
These strong, fearless women thrill us with their daring antics, just causes and ability to wield deadly weapons. While we find ourselves cowering in a corner and covering our eyes every time The Walking Dead is on, this group spends their days training dragons and taking down bad guys.
Xena Warrior Princess
Deadly with a chakram, piercing with a battle cry and able to do it all in a two piece leather ensemble, Xena burst onto the scene when we were wee pre-teens teaching us what being a woman was really all about. Also, let us not forget that she was on the forefront of the gay rights movement. So topical!!
Daenerys Targaryen, “Game of Thrones”
She spent her childhood in exile with an abusive older brother only to be sold into marriage to a Dothraki warlord just as she hits her teenage years. It would be enough to break anyone. Instead, Daenerys takes on her role as khalessi gaining the respect of her husband and khalasar and finally overcomes her overbearing brother proving herself to be the real heir to the kingdom. Oh yeah, and she keeps dragons as pets.
Emily Thorne, “Revenge”
With an encyclopedic knowledge of vengeance themed quotes and an bottomless bank account, Emily Thorne has come back to the Hamptons to exact revenge against the Graysons for what they did to her father. Not only has she trained with a martial arts sensei to hone her fighting skills but she also came up through juvie…so in other words…don’t f$%k with her.
Lana Kane, “Archer”
If all Lana did was parry Archer verbally with her cutting witticisms and “take no shit” attitude, it would be enough to earn her a spot in this category. The fact that she does it all while handling military grade weapons and doing his job better than him makes her our hero.
Katniss Everdeen, “The Hunger Games”
Since her father died, it has fallen to Katniss to provide for her family in an environment where basic survival techniques can run you afoul of the law. When her delicate little sister is picked to go into a deadly arena to kill or be killed, Katniss runs to her aid, volunteering to go instead. Luckily she has an iron will, a knack for making allies and lethal instinctive shooting skills. Katniss, we three finger salute you.
The Crazy Biatches
This next group of women demands your respect and undivided attention and if you don’t give it to them, there is no telling what they might do. Seriously.
Jenna Maroney, “30 Rock”
A slave to her art and the ever present “cam-mer-ah,” Jenna drives boss and best friend Liz Lemon crazy with her constant need to be the center of attention. Truly living the mantra “No press is bad press,” Jenna has been everything from the fat joke to the most hated talent judge in America. Every step of the way we have found ourselves both laughing with and at her, and we’re pretty sure that’s exactly how she likes it.
RHOBH, “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”
Yes we know, “real” is in the title, but let’s be honest for a second here folks. Even if the show depicts exactly how these women are sans camera, there is still very little that’s real about their lives. With $1,000 party favors for a toddler’s birthday party and private jets chartered to Vegas almost weekly, these women live a wonderful fantasy that all the other housewives in this franchise can only dream about. And all of this extravagance provides a breathtaking backdrop to daily screaming matches, drunken breakdowns and turtle love declarations. Oh you Beverly Hills divas, we love your crazy antics, please don’t ever change!
Chloe, “Don’t Trust The B in Apartment 23”
Chole (one name only) is a deviantly charming party girl on the New York social scene who can claim former Dawson’s Creek heartthrob James Van Der Beek as her best friend. She will sleep with your boyfriend, scam you for all you have, destroy your birthday cake and still somehow convince you that she has your best interests at heart. Strangely, we’re pretty sure she really does.
Julie Gristlewhite, “Burning Love”
Dental hygienist Julie Gristlewhite did find love during season one of The Bachelor parody Burning Love; just not with Mark. At the reunion, she shocked everyone by announcing her relationship with fellow contestant and assistant women’s basketball coach, Carly. In Season 2, she was back on the show, this time as the prize to be won. Julie loves love, whether it be with her former professional roller skating fiancee, sapphic experiment Carly or disinterested current contestant Blaze and she is willing to jump from one relationship to the next to find complete and total validation through another human being. We all know girls like her but seldom do they wear their crazy so publicly and for that we stand in admiration.
Ava Alexander, “Up All Night”
Ava is the spoiled, self-centered, host of a talk show bearing her name. She is also best friend to show producer Reagan Brinkley. While it might seem like Ava is the one with it all (fame, fortune, legions of adoring fans) she can most likely be found over at the Brinkley’s pretending to look down on their domestic bliss while secretly coveting their lovely marriage and sense of peace. Almost a second child to Reagan, Ava is famous for acting out whenever she feels she might be losing the slightest modicum of Reagan’s focus. Then, immediately after, she redeems herself with her sense of fun and a charming vulnerability. The world needs Ava’s and Ava’s need Reagan.
The Fab Five
This next group of women is simply fabulous. They empower us in all our feminine glory showing us that you can be both a strong independent woman who can also own a room (or a stage) in a fierce pair of heels.
The Spice Girls
Crazy outfits, niche nicknames and a message of Girl Power the Spice Girls burst onto the music scene and redefined girl pop. Though we’re still not sure if the lyrics to “Wannabe” promoted orgiastic rites of love or just simply being game to a “Sex in The CIty” marathon with your girlfriend’s clique, their message of platform shoes and friendship first remain with us to this day.
Donna Meagle, “Parks and Rec”
Living by the dual mottos of “Treat yo’self” and “Snitches get stitches,” Donna Meagle goes through life on her terms. With her sexy car, excellent investing skills and love of social media; she always seems way above and ahead of both the job and small town Pawnee. Donna Meagle; the epitome of boss lady.
Karen Walker, “Will and Grace”
Karen, Karen, Karen. While the whats-their-names titular characters go from one drama to the next, Karen proves that life is tragedy to those who think and a comedy to those who are rich, drunk and dressed to the nines. She could have easily fit into any of these categories and that is why Karen Walker is an unstoppable force of fabulousness.
Well said Taylor! (We love you!!)
Lucille Bluth, “Arrested Development”
Matriarch to the Bluth clan, Lucille will never win a “Mother of the Year’ award…or even a mother’s day card from her children. And yet, she keeps this floundering family of eccentrics afloat through sheer will power and cunning. Every time you think she’s stabbed you in the back, you’ll turn around and find a martini pick with olives sticking out from between your shoulder blades…but you’ll also discover that it was probably jammed there for your own good.
The Role Models
Regardless of how old these women are; when we grow up we hope to be just like them. They are intelligent, spirited and (usually) the voices of reason grounding those around them when everything else seems to be falling apart. Inspired and inspiring, these women really are the ones who show us how to be better people.
April Ludgate, “Parks and Rec”
You just know that if you met her she would probably hate you too until you proved worthy of her friendship. You also know that you would try like hell to get that approval (just look at Ann.) I mean come on, she’s Ron Swanson’s protege, she can drunkenly rant in a Portugese/Spanish hybrid and she has a rich, murderous alter-ego. Also, when she puts her mind to something and actually tries, she is unstoppable. She’s as incredible as she is intimidating and we would actually go to one of Oren’s art shows just to hang out with her.
Liz Lemon, “30 Rock”
Liz Lemon runs a show on a major network, corrals the ego’s of stars, writers and CEO’s and still has time to eat blocks of cheese while farting into a Snuggie. And that makes her pretty damn awesome in our book. We would definitely go to a mandatory Lemon party…wait…
Lady Violet Grantham, “Downton Abbey”
Huffing, sniffing, arching eyebrows and well-placed quips are just some of the uses of Lady Violet’s considerable power. While her son, Lord Grantham, may own the deed and rights to Downton let us make no mistake as to whom is actually running the estate. If growing old means becoming the Dowager Countess then sign us up!
Leslie Knope, “Parks and Rec”
Leslie Knope is an unfailingly optimistic and enthusiastic supporter of Pawnee, the people in her life and waffles. She is also a political powerhouse both as a kick ass filler of pits in the Parks and Recreation department and as one of Pawnee’s only women city council members…ever. Oh, and let’s not forget her cutting edge support of gay rights via homosexual penguins. Leslie Knope shows us that all you need to follow your dreams is brains, a big heart and the love of those around you. We love you Leslie Knope (and we agree that those jerks in Eagleton really have it coming to them!)
Miranda Bailey, “Grey’s Anatomy”
Watching Miranda Bailey take down a pack of whiny interns acting crazy is as beautiful as anything you would find on The Discovery Channel. Her no-nonsense approach to training the doctors of tomorrow and handling the doctors of right now makes her the voice of reason in a hospital that has seen more than its fair share of personal dramas, earth-shattering tragedies and failed co-worker romances. We dream of the day we can rattle off a much needed dressing down to the fools in our lives “Bailey Style.” Until then, we’ll just have to watch and learn.
Special thanks to all of these women for teaching us how to be fabulous friends and bad ass role models who aren’t afraid to get a little crazy in the pursuit of greatness!!!