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June 03, 2011

I rate the ten best teachers ever

5.  Amber Jennings

?  This Dudley, Massachusetts english teacher was caught sending nude pictures of herself, via email, to a 16 year old former student.  The "victims" mother wanted the judge to throw the book at her, saying that Ms. Jennings , "totally destroyed our life, my son's life."  Hey mom, speak for yourself.  I'm pretty certain that nude pictures of this smoking hot teacher did not ruin your son's life.  If anything, it made him a better man.  She's mainly on this list because she's hot and her screen name was redsox6606. 

?4.  Maggie Laughlin

  Maggie Laughlin, a math teacher at Shore Junior High School, was sentenced to 3 years in prison for performing oral sex on a 15 year old student several times during a two week stretch at the end of the school year.  She reportedly performed the oral sex on the boy in her classroom before school started.  If I could pick one way to start my school day, it would involve getting blown by a hot teacher in her classroom.  If every young man got blown before school our drop out rates would be non-existant and our graduation rates would be nearly 100%.  How many perfect attendence certificates do you think they would hand out?  It'd be like the Edward James Olmos movie "Stand and Deliver", but more like "Kneel and Deliver". 

  Guess who ruined this kid's real life fantasy world?  His ex-girlfriend's mom.  What the fuck?  How is she privy to that kind of info?  It's bad enough that your nagging ex won't leave you alone, now you got her dumb bitch mom bustin up your math class blow jobs.  Get this, Laughlin was taking a job in Michigan, at an all-boys school, to be with her fiancee.  She was two weeks away from a teenage dick sucking frenzy.  She came so close to her dream only to see it vanish before her eyes.  So sad.  How disappointed were the dudes at the all-boys school.  

3.  Melissa Ann Andreini

  The 28 year old, Utah special ed teacher, was accused of having sex with a 15 year old student, then paying him $1,500 as either payment for services rendered or hush money.  Whatever that money was for, you gotta give this kid a big round of applause.  A 15 year old Utah gigalo.  Having sex with a teacher is awesome.  Getting paid to have sex with a teacher is as impressive, if not more impressive, than Joe Dimaggio's 56 game hitting streak or Wilt Chamberlain's 100 point game.  It's the stuff of legends.

2.  Kristen Sullivan

  The computer teacher from Broward County, Florida allegedly carried on an illicit year long relationship with a 14 year old student.  The victim told police that they first had sex in a storage room and that sex up to three times a day was normal.   Has this kid been having sex since he was 6?  He's gotta be the most experienced junior high student ever.  Better yet, this kid got her to buy him tons of shit.  She bought him Air Jordans, a gold chain, IPhone, Wii, clothing, and pot.  God damn.  Here's the best part.  Guess how authorities found out?  This kid's girlfriend found dirty texts between the two.  Girlfriend?  So he had a sugar momma side piece and a girlfriend.  The 14 year old Tony Soprano.  The trice daily sex and the Air Jordans weren't enough?  How did he find time for a girlfriend?

1.  Michele Taylor


 Yakima, WA, Phys. Ed. teacher Michele Taylor was found not guilty on charges of sexual misconduct with a minor.  The sexual misconduct in this case, to be exact, involved banging a 15 year old in the back of her husband's pick up truck in the Kmart parking lot.  I don't know where I stand on this.  Obviously, I'm glad she was found not guilty, but does that mean this kid was lying about something so awesome and damning.

  Boning a teacher in a pick up truck at Kmart is nothing to lie about.  According to the kid, he had unprotected sex, then went home and cried in the shower because he, "felt dirty".  That's not the kind of moxie we're accustomed to from our teacher-banging students.  Take a cue from the prinipal's wife fucker or the side piece 14 year old, that bangs teachers in the storage room, or the classroom head guy, or the Utah gigilo.  I think she's innocent, but I'm going to hold on to the Kmart pick up fantasy anyway.