Celebrities See All

Close

Quick Links

or
Published January 14, 2010 More Info »
1 Funny Votes
0 Die Votes
3,103 Views
Published January 14, 2010
Oh shit, Rotwang made a weblog

"[Quote from said villain that's appropriate to the topic for today.]"

Today's episode:
"Day 5: [Provocative Title]"

[Day ] 5 [of my week as the featured blogger on the FOD homepage.]

[Snide comment about the comments from my last entry. ] [Self-deprecating comment about this blog not being as interesting as the comment exchange on wednesday with Eric. Again.]

[Snide paragraph of snidely snarky snideness.]

[Mediocre sex joke about Amy4Birds.]

[Word for word copy of sex joke above, with "ClayJunky" instead of "Amy4Birds" and add "with lots of KY and a wig".]

[SOMETHING IN ALL CAPS!!]

[Long philosophical exploration of some deeply arcane detail that facinated me endlessly that no one else cares about except like 2 of my readers who get it.]


 

[Relate some fictional story to FOD, or comedy.]

[Sneak in derogatory reference to Chosen One status in parenthesis.]

[Link to some totally awesome video from my favorites list and/or web site that vaguely relates. To keep the reader from falling asleep with all this damn text.]


[Semi-clever caption]

[Defensive statement in anticipation of the disagreements that previous statements will cause.]

[Categorization of dangerous statements. Because I'm going soft these days.]

[Comparison of my opinion to something much worse so it doesn't seem to extreme or stupid.]

[Tangent, usually in parentheses.]

[Further philosophical exploration, which at this point has outstayed it's welcome in the minds of the readers, who are now utterly bored with it and think this entry is too long and should've been edited down so that they can go back to watching fart joke videos instead of listening to Rotwang pontificate forever about some stupid crap, when really all they were tuning in for is more fights between Rotwang and FOD staff, which was probably the only interesting thing about this blog anyway, though I tried, but I'm not a comedian, just a nerdy philosopher type who likes funny videos, trying to philosophize on a comedy site, which is probably disrespecting the venue, which is something I (now, hypocritically) criticize people for doing when they post videos that aren't intended to be funny.]


[Clever but low-brow caption.]

  [Snide, conclusive, statement.]

And I know your formats too, so I'll write your comments for you all. The following are comments that FOD users will make at some point in their future, (not about this blog entry, but in general):


ClayJunky

OMG Rot, you have a tattoo of a scorpion on your ass? Me too!


ButchJackson
You want to know the secret to comedy, kid? I'll tell ya...

A wig and a banana.

Yep. A wig and a banana. Take that to the bank, kid.




mpg79
Inbox:
From: mpg79
Date: Jan 12, 2010 09:36 PM
Subject: OH SHIT

OMG Rotwang, I'm PREGNANT. SHIT. I never should have let you and Clay convince me to do a threesome..... the seventh time.

I think it's yours. Don't tell Clay. Which end were you on? I was so drunk...

mpg

PS I hope it's yours XXooxOOxxOXOXxxoo :) :*


Amy4Birds
Inbox:
From: Amy4Birds
Date: Jan 9, 2010 08:39 AM
Subject: OH SHIT

OMG Rotty I think I'm PREGNANT. Damnit, I thought this was medically impossible. Your little soldiers must've like sprayed venom on my ovaries and got out an egg. (My ovaries did repeat the same old material of "releasing an egg", so that probably pissed your little Rotwangs off.)

Oh wait nevermind it's just gas. WHEW.


Trident

This is a splendiferous rendition of rhetoric from an unscrupulous nobleman as yourself. There's been a paucity of tangeability in the quartet of your here-to-for dissertations on the appropo topics that

OMG LulZ nice bl0g rotwang dOOd!!


WestSideSlant

Todays winners:

Bronze: "[some clever crap]" - [someone who's not rotwang]

Silver: "[some more clever crap]" - [someone who's not rotwang]

Gold: "[some even more clever crap]" - Trident

And todays worst caption was:

"It's Cactus-cock!! (Get it- "cactus-cock", cause that cactus is like, a cock, amiright? haha!!)" -Rotwang


Tyghtrope

Your weblog post was so bad that I literally feel as though my entire ancestry has been spat upon and violated, along with their livestock and the microscopic organisms that feed upon their feces.

MACGRUBER!


BarnWang

Crap what pun can I put here... fuck... MOOOO... something... maybe a "baaaa-aaa-aaa" something...

Boy, making Rotwang the featured blogger was a cock-a-doodle-don't!

There! Brilliant. total burn.


EricAppel

In an alternate universe, Eric Appel is in the fashion industry, and he receives a phone call:

"Hello, this is Eric. What.... you're saying the emperor has no clothes? Oh my god we need to pull those fake suits off the shelves. Wait, wait, who are you? So you're not in the fashion industry? Just some kid? How did you get this number? Well, look, just don't buy those clothes, son, that's all we need you little consumers to do. Maybe if you grow up and do wardrobe for SNL or something then you can call me back." CLICK.


SethMorris

Ok, Rotwang, you're not a cunt. You're like 50 cunts. Fifty vaginas all lined up in a row.


NinjaSexParty

Hey, man, yes, we'd love to have you as an extra in our next video. You're awesome!

And show up at the afterparty, it's gonna be chock full of girls,

We're gonna have fifty vaginas all lined up in a row!

It'll be like... some kind of... Ninja Sex Party. Dot com.


One of Amy's 4 birds.

RAWK! I'll be back Polly I'm gonna buy some more vodka. RAWK! I'll be back Polly I'm gonna buy some more vodka. RAWK! I'll be back Polly I'm gonna buy some more vodka. RAWK! I'll be back Polly I'm gonna buy some more vodka. RAWK! OWW ROTWANG NOT SO ROUGH!


JasonSereno.

It's a miracle, baby, and you didn't even try.

Your blog is on the front page of funny or die.


Kiebar.

Fuck - I can barely see the screen. Went to a couple of clubs, squeezed some ambrosial ass -I am reeking from the smell of cigar smoke and liquor - but not of sex. Christ, life is fine. Mr. .30 blood alcohol plans to pass out. Hope you've had a productive day. My cap mojo has said see ya soon.

(poste... more >

Fuck - I can barely see the screen. Went to a couple of clubs, squeezed some ambrosial ass -I am reeking from the smell of cigar smoke and liquor - but not of sex. Christ, life is fine. Mr. .30 blood alcohol plans to pass out. Hope you've had a productive day. My cap mojo has said see ya soon.

(posted 4 minutes ago)

Delete

< less

(posted 3 minutes ago)

Delete

(actual quote)


jason2k1.

Thank you, Rotwung for using proper punctation and gramar.


Will Ferrel.

Well, this is all just beneath me. Who do we fire for this? rillo-somebody-or-other, right?


ClayJunky

Hey Rot, GREAT NEWS. Mpg just told me she's pregnant! I'm finally gonna be a father! We're getting married, fly in and be the best man dude!


Rotwang

It sure is dark in here, but these skittles are delicious. OM NOM NOM NOM!

 

Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web

More