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July 10, 2008


There is an old Otis Redding song callled "I've got dreams to remember..."

Well, we all do. No one remembers their dreams. But they do need to tell you that they had a dream, they don't remember what it was exactly though they are sure that it was "weird".

Well, I don't care.

Top on my list of people whose names I am personally emailing to the Grim Reaper are dream interpretation experts. By experts I mean, that creepy lady at work who says a lobster in your dreams is a sign of fortune. She has tons of them, all based on some looney tunes dream interpretation book she bought at a flea market. She will listen to your vague recollection of a dream you had and respond with something along these lines.

"Wow, really? A frisbee getting stuck on the roof and the gutters turned into black snakes who chased you down the street? Let me ask you this, is anyone in your family currently sick?"

Heaven forbid you respond yes to your question.

"Oh, yes, I knew it. I knew it. See serpents are bearers of illness, especially darker snakes. And the frisbee getting stuck on the roof signifies that you are helpless about that sick person."

But the reality of this is that you actually saw a frisbee on the roof of your neighbor's house two days ago and also were remembering the sign on the hiking trail that says "Warning: Snakes".

Your body works all day and then while it is resting the mind plays randomly. You are pulling from all your recollected memory. Yes, it can be very freaky. We all have woken up going, "WTF dream? That's the last time I go to sleep."

SIDE NOTE: Dreams can be greatly influenced by 2AM trips to Taco Bell. GREATLY INFLUENCED! Be WARNED!!

And lastly I want to point out that while EVERY ONE dreams, NO ONE wants to hear about yours.

That is all, go to sleep.