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January 20, 2011

The birth of the Green Bay Packers

On August 10, 1919 two men's torrid love affair and intese desire of burly young men would cause the birth of one of America's oldest and most beloved professional football teams. Bruce "Curly" Lambeau and George Calhoun's affair was well known among local residents but was suprisingly accepted for the time period. Curly, who's nickname was in reference to the shape of his genatals, was a married man with two children and a respected community member. Mr. Calhoun on the other hand was a well known homosexual and had been suspected of pedophilia in his days coaching teens. He also owned multiple all male "Gentlemen's Clubs" around town.

The idea to start a football team came from Curly Lambeau one day after rumors of his gay escapades began to seep out around town and arroused suspicion within his own wife. She constantly questioned her husband as to the nature of his activities with all these young, physically fit men of the gentleman's clubs, Curly had little answers. Curly knew he had to do something to defuse the questions surrounding him. It only seemed logical to start a football team. Curly loved to watch two large men slam into each other over and over again, so why not twenty two?

Curly and George assembled only the most strong and handsome members of their gentleman's club in a meeting on August 10, 1919. They explained the idea to the men and all were more than excited to play football for these two raging homosexuals. Now that they had a team, all that was left was to find a name. After much thought and some rejected names, such as the Tightbottoms, Fannyblasters, Turdpokers, and the Buttslammers, Curly and George decided on the Green Bay ButtPackers, later shortened to simply, Packers. The rest is history.