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July 30, 2015

a trip to the fabric store

A Trip to the Fabric Store

Note: I actually went into a Joan Fabrics store, and when no one was paying attention, I picked up the intercom and announced this over the PA system.

“Attention Associates: Clean up on aisle 7. A bunch of fake flowers fell off the shelf. You won’t need a mop. I don’t think you’ll need a broom either. In fact, I think if you just went over to aisle 7 and picked up the shit, everything would be ok. By the way, the men’s room needs a once over. Oh, I forgot. An actual man has not walked in there in over three years. Attention valued customers: Thank you for shopping at Joan Fabrics. The store with the world’s cleanest men’s room.”