— Question #4, 2016 Career Aptitude Test©
If you were building a house, you would:
[ ] Paint the walls
[ ] Supervise the crew
[✓] Lay Carpet
Oh no, Tyler! I’m in trouble. Big trouble. Mega trouble… Tyler I need some help.
— Question #16, 2016 Career Aptitude Test©
If you were swimming, you would:
[ ] Do the Breast Stroke
[✓] Go put sunscreen on the parents
[ ] Do the Doggie Paddle
You know the test that shrew Mrs. Fink made us take? Well it wasn’t just some math trash! It was the state approved Career Aptitude Test. That means the kids in Glendale took this test, that’s how serious this is. And it told me I am 100% for sure going to become the Mayor of Poundtown, which means I will the official local representative of your mom.
— Question #24, 2016 Career Aptitude Test©
If you were given an egg, you would:
[ ] Cook it
[ ] Decorate it for Easter
[✓] Wait for it to hatch because that would make you it’s father and parents are kind of your thing.
I’m just a kid! I don’t want to have to be in charge of your Mom’s police, fire, education, housing and transportation departments! I use to think that I could do anything, but now I know I’m for sure going to be elected to chair the city council by your mom every four years until I retire. I wanted to be a electrician, man. I was going to move to the next town over and wire apartments for a living. Do I have to give that up to live with your mom, in Poundtown, where she is the majority vote on local government?
Tyler you have to help me. Talk to your mom. Convince her that at the next Poundtown elections, not to write my name into the ballot. I get it, I’m a viable candidate to hold control of Poundtown’s legislative branch. I’ve got a winning smile and I’m great with the folks. There’s no question that I could retain a high approval rating twelve terms in a row, but that’s not my dream.
— Question #1, Career Aptitude Test 2016©
At a dinner party, your conversation lies:
[✓] With the Hostess
[ ] In the bedroom
[ ] Over the fish
Help me, Tyler. I want a bright future. I don’t want to end up like Darren, the mailman, and current Mayor of Poundtown. Please. Every vote counts, especially your Mom’s. As she is the sole occupant of Poundtown.
Besides the Mayor.
Who would be me.
Fuck you Tyler I know you’ve been dating my sister not cool man.