6 Funny Votes
0 Die Votes
Published June 12, 2012

Yesterday Justin Bieber infected nearly two hundred-thousand small girls and their parents at a free concert in Mexico City with the dreaded Bieber Fever, a rare disease that leaves its victims dead in Bieber's imagined arms.

Scientists are uncertain what causes the illness, but suspect it might have something to do with a lack of exposure to really, really bad music.

"In America we've built up a tolerance for horrible music with artists like Lil' Wayne and the Jonas Brothers," said major scientific figure Ari Chen. "Other countries are less fortunate."

Health officials have sent out an advisory including the following early indicators of Bieber Fever: Puking blood on the first note of Baby. Loss of bowels at the site of frosted tips. And an uncontrollable urge to make out with your pillow while moaning "Bieber" over and over.

The State Department is paying close attention to the situation with plans to weaponize Bieber.

"We're in the early stages of Operation Boyfriend," Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told media yesterday. "We plan to send Bieber to the Middle East as part of a USO tour, but instead have him sing to the Afghan troops."