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June 10, 2012

Here is a list of the top 10 tweets I wish I was clever enough to write myself.

10. Michael Ian black (Off-Beat yet Brilliant Comic)

This is the first tweet I ever re-tweeted for obvious reasons.

9. Sarah Bareilles (Snarky/Talented Singer/Songwriter)

Finally Quantum Leap jokes are starting to catch on! I have been like Gretchen Weiners trying to make “fetch” happen with this topic and so far, I have been unsuccessful - until now, for which I tip my hat to you, Sarah Bareilles.

8. Ana Gasteyer (Forever Bobbi Culp)

This just made me laugh so hard.

7. Elisa Markus (Chicago-Based Blogger/Comedy Writer and Mother of my Children)

Elisa is not the mother of my children but if she was, I would hope that they would get her sense of humor and my ability to sweat while sitting down.

6. Chris Kelly (SNL Writer, Expert in Relaying Sarcasm in 140 Characters)

Maybe it’s because I went to a really intense theatre school, but I totally I.D. with Kelly’s aggravation in this tweet. While I became good friends with most of the musical theatre majors I went to college with, I can now spot them from a mile away.

5. Chelsey Peretti (Oprah and Gayle’s Third) @chelseavperetti

Basically everything she posts. Her incredibly comedic, fantastical and invasive style of tweeting makes me feel equal parts mesmerized and uncomfortable. She has a way of using self-promoting self-pics and unusually placed CAPS LOCK - from claiming that her cell phone pictures are professional headshots to personally appealing to stars like Beyonce to share their feelings with the world that really chills me to the bone and brings a smile to my face.

4. Conan O’Brien (Person with hair better than yours)

Try to never think about this tweet when your child relatives are bothering the shit out of you about Santa.

3. Jessi Klein (Stand-Up Comic, Foxy Nerd)

I once met her after a show in Columbus and she’s super down-to-earth and really just as foxy in real life. I love this joke as much as I hate Michelle Bachmann. Which is monumental.

2. Christine Nangle (SNL Writer, UCB Alum, Creator of “I Wanna Have Your Baby”)

I am a twenty-something woman with a degree in English with a minor in women’s studies from a small, liberal arts school in the Midwest. If there’s one thing I love it’s low-impact angry feminist activism through social media.

1 Paula Pell (Golden Goddess of Comedy)

No. words.

Bonus: Paula Pell

Paula Pell gets me because I always say that all food is really just a vehicle for eating ranch dressing. Thank you Paula for being my ranch dressing-loving, queer role model. PLEASE LET ME BE YOUR GAYBY.