Full Credits

Stats & Data

July 17, 2009



Jim McPartland



It was a dark, lonely night. A rough night. Filled with acts of deceit and lewd conduct.

Yes, that’s the beginning of a bad Harlequin novel. Also this gentleman’s tale of whoa.

It never ceases to amaze me that the mighty can fall. He's fairly well known in certain circles- and certainly a celebrity by the amount of money he makes.
Yet these 'celebrities' can make really bad choices and end up looking like this at police headquarters.  In hospital garb, no less.

I’d buy bar fight. Even a drunken alley brawl would be OK. I’ve had my moments but haven’t ended up looking like this (I run).

Especially as a result of a woman.

A hooker no less.

So—who is this??

Think TV.

Think Billy Mays, rest his-never-been-shot-like-this-soul.





Vince Shlomi- Mr. ShamWow.

ShamfuckingOw is more like it.

I like Vince’s pitch- he’s got that rough New Jersey thing going.

When a competitive chopping device doesn’t cut the mustard (or carrots), he tosses it out of camera range to a crash. My kind of get-rid-of-the-shit-if-it-sucks kind of salesman.

Vince showed he’s not quite the pitchman I idolize.Caveat vendttor, ladies.

So—let’s meet Vince’s heavy weight match-

This is Sasha Harris.

 She’s cute. I like her seductive ‘Hey, whatcha doin’ tonight, big boy?’ mug shot in pic 1.

Certainly the ‘What, you think I’m not doing this again?’ demeanor in 2[i][ii].

In February, the unadvertised event in Miami took place.

Vince is staying at a posh hotel. He meets seductive Sasha at a nightclub where she propositioned him $1000 for straight sex.

I wouldn’t pay $1000 for fucking perpendicular-acute-angle-calculus401 sex, so the fact Vince can drop that kind of change on a semi-attractive blonde for nothing kinky says we’re all in the wrong profession and should sell absorbent towels and garlic knives instead.

Somewhere in the wee hours and during foreplay, Sasha decides to latch onto Vince’s tongue during a kiss. Sasha obviously had a different definition of ‘straight’.

She won’t let go.

A struggle ensues, comparable to the ‘Thrilla in Manila’ or maybe Holyfield/Tyson.

After round 1, as they return to their corners, here’s Sasha-

This is not a happy girl.

Pic 2 especially[iii].

I’ve never even thought of hitting anyone- never mind a female- hard enough to cause this kind of damage. $1000 tongue latching or not, Jesus Vince, this is ShamFuckedup.

I do find it interesting police found $930 in her purse. Whether she stopped on the way to the hospital to buy expensive lattes for her corner remains to be seen.

As usual the moral of this story is no matter how famous or rich one is, bad choices abound. Why Ms. Harris would bite Vince’s tongue to the point he’d pound her like this spells abuser to me- he’d already paid her. Busting her up is apparently his version of 'straight' sex.

Maybe the cash was from an earlier in the evening warm up bout with another ‘contender’ and he realized he was getting sloppy seconds, no refund.

But his towels and cutlery have money back guarantees, don’t they?

Oh—I get it—it’s the handling and processing fee raising its ugly head again.

Great at soaking up water- but what about blood, Vinno?



[i] I’d make some crack about the Detroit PD having similar shots of Noelle, but the phone would start ringing and I’m already in ‘watch your back’ status with her anyway.

[i] Notice it looks like she turned her shirt around for that one? After smoking a joint? (love the glassy eyes look-sensual city)

[i] Even Noelle looks better than this after a bad date. There’s just something here that screams ‘Holy fuck- I lost!”