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December 19, 2009


I cannot stand when I get that song in my head "If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it"...."oh oh oh, oh oh oh PSSFT!"
I think "putting a ring on it" doesn't mean shit. Ask Tiger Woods, or David Letterman, or...I don't know...ANY MAN ON EARTH? It's HER idea because SHE is the only one it means anything to. I don't know why men get married except because the woman they want to have sex with makes them or expects it from him....so?? So, why do women want to get married? Why? The glamour? LOL Sugar daddies are few and far between these days and most marriages involve two incomes, a mortgage, 2 cars and 2 kids and your husband will probably wind up fucking any woman he thinks will go for it in the interim anyway...putting a ring on it somehow exempts you from growing, having changing needs as a person and ever accepting the company of someone you have no idea you're going to meet five years from now, possibly five minutes from now?? Jon Gosselin was married and has EIGHT CHILDREN he claims to have love of epiphiniphal proportion for...and yet!! He has hours and days of television footage documenting his "commitment" to being a father and husband and YET!!!! Does anyone believe one night in a white dress with an open bar for your friends is a solid guarantee of anything?? (and if you had a cash bar, fuck you, BTW)
Massive run on thought/sentence, I know, but I'm trying to capture what a fruitless endeavour a "marriage" is. I mean, my GOD! I've been hatching it out with Nigel for nine years now and marriages have come and gone, eaten our dust. These people gawked at us and shook their heads at our arrangement, and now they fight tooth and nail over visitation of their children and fail miserably at maintaining new relationships. They are nightmares and yet, because we weren't prepared to combine our mistakes by throwing the expectation of marriage into it, people still think "oh. well, he hasn't married her, so..."
 I know a woman who's five months pregnant by some guy who has an eight month old baby with another woman and they regularly go fifty rounds on Facebook debating who's MAN he is (ie  "Someone put a pic of MY MAN on her Facebook...so sad about it, not"), really mature and meaningful dialogue like that.  Why would anyone bring children into the world with this person?  Why would women in varying degrees of pregnancy hate eachother when they are just the only two they KNOW about???  I kow for a FACT there are more women (if not outstanding warrants), since I tried to take a pic of the happy couple together at our Christmas party and he hid his face every time.  Come on, people!!  But that covetted RING, that would make all the difference, right?
I know another woman who goes to war with an "ex" of her beau and she'll say "He gave you a necklace, but he gave me a ring!!!" So...at least this guy can find a Jewellry shop.  Either way, "ring" lady has had the baby now and is "planning" planning the wedding (twenty years old and claims she had a "planned" pregnancy also.   Parenting with someone is HARD work, and being MARRIED could/would/should mean something if we didn't live in a time/place where people have so much unlimitted access to one another.
I'm sorry Beyounce...a ring doesn't mean shit when someone is making a promise they have no want to keep.