Full Credits

Stats & Data

September 10, 2008


In class today we were having an intense philosophical debate about morality. We were presented with a hypothetical situation and asked to determine the morality of certain people's actions. A boat sinks in the middle of the ocean. There is only one lifeboat. 25 people make it into the lifeboat including three of the crew. Four people are still in the water. The lifeboat can not hold any more people, so the crew decide to leave the people in the water and row toward the shipping lanes so that they may be rescued. Leaving the people behind it was understood that they would not survive. Was the decision to leave the people in the water immoral? This is what we were debating. At one point in the discussion we were going back and forth over the fairness of drawing straws so that every one would have an equal chance at a spot on the boat. Some people felt this wasn't fair to the people already in the boat. Other people agreed it was the only fair way to determine who should be rescued. It was at this point that a girl in the very front of the lecture hall raised her hand. the following actually happened.

Professor: "Yes?"

Future Wife: "I don't understand."

Professor: "Well, what don't you understand?"

Future Wife: "Where are these people getting these straws from?"

The entire class erupted in laughter. She was not joking. The only problem she had about all that we had discussed is where were they going to get the instruments needed to pick the people that would get a spot on the boat. I felt an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. I thought it was the tacos I ate earlier at the dining hall, but I knew that feeling pretty well and this was different. I was falling in love. I have never felt any real emotion for girls before this moment. Don't get me wrong I loved being with them just never really cared how they felt. This must seem pretty doggish but it is true. But not anymore because I found the one girl I am going to spend the rest of my life with. After class I went up to the front to make fun of her for saying something that stupid in front of 200 people.  I wondered about what our life would be like together. Would we live on the east coast or move to some magical place where it is always 90 degrees and sunny. What would our children look like? really hot or just good looking. I finally made my way to the front and standing in front of me is my ex-girlfriend, Melissa. FUCK! She had a different hair color so I didn't recognize her from the back. And her voice is so jersey girl generic you couldn't tell the difference between it and the million other bleach blondes walking around. I hadn't seen her since last semester and didn't plan on it. I should have known there was only one girl that dumb at this school. But after all, the reason I went up to see her is the same reason I dated her for 2 years. I love dumb jersey girls. I might be addicted to them. It is not an emotional thing just physical. When I see a girl with bleach blond hair, a bad tan, designer sungalsses that could double as a face-shield, designer(or knock-off) bag, jeans that are from baby gap and a top that keeps her dad up at night, I can't control myself. this is going to be a problem for me because I am just dumb enough to marry one of them. And if you have ever spent more than two minutes around one you will understand my dilemma. It is at that point in my life that I hope my real friends will step up and disfigure me in some way. Jersey girls are extremely materialistic and vain. they would never be able to be with someone who is not physically good-looking. My friends will know that physically scarring me for life will be what I need to save me from a lifetime of hell.