by Nina Teroni
Hollywood, CA - It’s a baby boom in Hollywood! Throughout the past month, some of Tinseltown’s biggest and sexiest stars have given, or are preparing to give, birth. What many are curious about, however, is why everyone decided to bone totally unwrapped last fall.
Said new mother Nicole Kidman, “I can’t describe it. Something happens out here in October when the weather drops 5 degrees and/or you realize you’ve got to do something drastic to get photographed when the fat lip’s not doing it. It’s really special.”
Matthew McConaughey, Jamie Lynn Spears, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Alba, Nicole Richie and Angelina Jolie all felt the heat in October. There are several theories for this. Some stars get swept up in the fall race for the Oscar.
“I couldn’t keep my dick down in October. I think it’s because I started to appear on the short list for Best Supporting Actor, and I looked at my wife Dixie Carter and just thought to myself ‘I wanna give ya ma ol’ man baby batter’,” confessed Hal Holbrook, the oldest male actor ever nominated, for his work in Into the Wild.
Others theorize that the 2007 wildfires in Malibu might have contributed to stars in heat. Said Matthew McConaughey, a Malibu resident, “It got hot. Hahaha. Hot and dry. Hahaha. Things burned. And I just got real horny in a full-blown nekkid way.”
Half-trash Jamie Lynn Spears blamed it on Malibu as well. “It was hot, so once it got not hot, I was like, ‘Baby, make me a quesadilla and a mama.’” “I guess,” agreed Nicole Richie.
Some, however, disagree with these theories. According to super-hot (fertile) Angelina Jolie, “October didn’t feel any different to me.”