Which of these tweets will you enjoy the most? Find out after the break.
How to turn into a monster:— Elle Oh Hell (@ElleOhHell) June 14, 2016
Werewolf: full moon
Hulk: get angry
Regular person: appear on House Hunters
Professional skills include Microsoft Office, 90 WPM typing, and occasionally being able to guess which house they'll pick on House Hunters— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) February 9, 2016
"Open floor plan, granite counter tops, stainless steel appliances. That's all gotta go." - House Hunters 2050— Mike Scully (@scullymike) September 12, 2016
Legend has it that if u go on House Hunters & don't act displeased with the lack of "natural light" they frame u for murder— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) August 15, 2016
"Tiny House Hunters" is my favorite show about people who are going to be divorced in a year.— Sarge (@BastardProphet) May 7, 2017
[House Hunters episode]— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) April 19, 2017
HUSBAND: I'm a freelance hamster trainer
WIFE: And I tune harmonicas part-time
HUSBAND: Our budget is $950K
We have fun here on House Hunters pic.twitter.com/EwkkYMlCx9— Richard Lawson (@rilaws) March 13, 2017
I think this couple on House Hunters should buy two of the houses. That way they'll both have a place to live when they get divorced.— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) January 6, 2017
HOUSE HUNTERS COUPLE: We need an open concept, 7 baths, we plan to entertain dozens, & we need a football field for our 9 dogs. Budget: $38K— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) April 11, 2016
House Hunters, Wishlist:— brian essb (@SortaBad) March 27, 2017
- walk-in closet
- minimally haunted
- nice yard
- seriously, only a few demons
- no HOA
- max 1 past ghoul murder
COUPLE: We need a place that allows dogs.— shauna (@goldengateblond) March 12, 2017
HOUSE HUNTERS REALTOR: Here's one where dogs are shot on sight.
COUPLE: This is reasonable.
[HOUSE HUNTERS]— Matt Starr (@matthewsstarr) October 18, 2016
REALTOR: This home is 3br/2ba with a lovely yard.
ME: Perfect. [Pulls out rifle, shoots house] Another house. Hunted.
House Hunters voiceover: "Donald is looking for a racist wall with a quaint view from the U.S., but doesn't want to spend any actual money." pic.twitter.com/vbUPGyxOw6— Vanessa Ramos (@thatRamosgirl) March 19, 2017
I am a positive and optimistic person and at the end of every House Hunters I think, "This young couple doesn't deserve to be happy."— Max Silvestri (@maxsilvestri) November 7, 2016
just got a million dollars for my original series pitch Tiny House Hunters: Regular Sized House Edition— the garbage shit boy (@davedittell) May 5, 2017
ME: and here's house number 3, the mystery house— Bea_ker (@bea_ker) October 9, 2016
HOUSEHUNTERS: this is a shoe
ME: surprise motherfuckers
House Hunters Florida is on & WHO CARES what the floors look like Susan the whole state will be under water before you pay off the mortgage— Not My President (@missmayn) March 15, 2017
"I can already tell I'm going to hate these people." - me, after the intro to 83% of all episodes of House Hunters International— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) September 23, 2016
ME: [on the show house hunters but I am very nervous and don't know much about houses] so what's this like a porch or something— Algore Trout (@Karate_Horse) May 8, 2016
I really want to go on House Hunters and just repeatedly ask, "how many ferret cages you reckon would fit in here?" in every room.— Tragic Eggy (@TragicAllyHere) August 23, 2016
I yell at episodes of Tiny House Hunters the way actual men yell at sports.— Timothy (@yourpaltim) April 12, 2016