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May 05, 2011

Quite untrue results from a poll regarding the bangability of the presidential hopeful.

In a poll conducted by Capi-Tail magazine, 69% of American men admitted that if presented with the opportunity for an intimate encounter with former Alaska governor and 2008 republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, they would hit that.

However, the same scientific poll found that only 17% of men in the U.S. would ever, under any circumstances, marry the bitch.

The poll is the first in a series on female candidates’ political bangability which will soon include U.S. Representative/potential republican presidential candidate Michelle Bachman.

Capi-Tail editor C. Farnsworth Smelter says that the poll was taken from telephone, internet and in-person interviews throughout America, and included some 22,000 men from all income levels, races, ethnic groups, faiths, regions and political orientations.

The poll also found that 62% of men would like to receive oral pleasure from Mrs. Palin, though only 9% had any interesting in giving her oral pleasure. The rate of interest in going down on the North Star was slightly higher amongst Democratic (11%) than republican (8%) men.

30% of men would like to engage in anal intercourse with Sarah Palin, and an almost identical number – 29% - believe that “the bitch would really be into it.”

When asked to briefly describe her in terms of being a potential intimate partner, a full 38% said Palin was “Booty call city.” 21% used the phrase “hobag,” 18% described Palin as a “total freak,” 12% as a “kinky broad” and a curious 8% as a “stoopid hood rat.”

Virtually every man’s response in the poll included the use of the word “bitch” at least six times.

While only 17% would marry Palin, 21% said that they would become engaged to her in order to “tap that thang.” 58% admitted to a willingness to lie to Palin in order to have sex with her and 4% said that they would not rule out the use of roofies on a date with the mother of “Dancing With The Stars” performer Bristol Palin.

59% of men, incidentally, expressed an interest in a threesome featuring both Sarah and Bristol Palin, and the number goes up to 61% when the potential scene features mother-daughter intimacy.

Editor Smelter commented, “I couldn’t make this up.”


Both single and married men were polled, but it was found that answers did not differ in relation to marital status.