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125Funny
23Die
6,388
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March 21, 2017
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During the trial, keep asking what the score is.

Say you cannot be impartial because the thought of crime makes you uncontrollably horny

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Take one of those pills that lower your heart rate so they’ll think you’re dead. Then when they bury you suffocate to death in the coffin

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Plead guilty to the crime

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Claim the judge as a dependent on your taxes

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Respond to everything with “That’s definitely going in my SVU spec!”

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Huck a pudding cup into the ceiling fan

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Preface everything you say with “As somebody who thinks cousins should be fair game…”

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Create a conflict by marrying the defendant

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Make it known that if the death penalty is sentenced, you want to do it yourself

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During the trial, keep asking what the score is

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