I don't work for FunnyorDie, but I know them kind of like you know a veneral disease.
They appeared one night after drunken lovemaking, flared up into a swollen, itchy, bloody wart forest, and then went dormant. They are still there, lurking, but I can lie about them now, and no one can tell for sure. Carpe diem, am I right?!
Anyway, they want me to write this blog, but if I was actually funny I'd be running some important shit, instead of wallowing in "debt" and "wasted potential", so I'm just going to swear, bullshit and post links to compensate.
So birthdays. The next one you remember (I don't care if it's your grandma or your gay foster dads) they need to know about this:
What baby? Those red bumps? That's just razor burn my sweet pumpkin muffin. I shaved just for you!
Welcome to the week suckahs...
- bessie love