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Stats & Data

June 06, 2012

Reasons why you should love women, if you don't already do.

I am so lucky I’m a man and I damn well recognize the shit out of it. Geezus I respect what women go through so much. I could never be a woman, getting ready for hours, putting on makeup, wearing heels, getting drilled…nope, I just couldn’t do it. Women spend hours prettying themselves up each morning, meanwhile I roll out of bed two hours later, throw on the same thing I wore Thursday, let my pillow comb my hair, and I’m out the door. Being a women, especially a decent looking one, would suck…and probably in more ways then one. With dudes, you have to be like a bullshit detector sifting through the crap, constantly fighting off sleazebags who want nothing more then to passionately impale you on a regular basis. This isn’t as much of a problem for dudes of course because everyone knows the desire for pussy heavily outweighs the desire for penis. It’s true, I mean, a V is a V and a D is well…a D.

Wearing high heels, that’s another thing, I mean, I wear my heels on the weekends but some women wear them everyday!…that’s crazy. Perioding is another one…if I bled out of my d hole once a month I don’t know how I would handle such a thing. I’d probably just lose it and go bazurco at some point, which would not be pretty. Peeing sitting down, that‘s another one…popping a squat must be awful and literally a pain in the ass. You gotta find a safe, isolated spot and expose yourself amateur porn style, then hover in the most vulnerable position ever as you flow your raging river down the street. All guys have to do is zip down their fly, or in some cases just fold their pants over. This is so underrated, and easily the biggest luxury ever.

Oh, not to mention, probably the worst thing about being a woman…that’s right…giving birth! Christ I bitch and moan when my fiberless diet leads to massive struggles pushing out my epic thumpers in the bathroom so I couldn’t even imagine shitting out a humans being, I mean, good Lord. If men and women could both give birth, I would do everything I could to convince my wife to have the first one. “Ok honey, you have this one, I’ll have the next one,“ I'd say...and she'd say,”Okay, okay"…Then when it’s time to have the next child, she’d say, “It’s your turn honey” and I’d say, “What, are you crazy? No! That’s just not gonna happen, and don't ask me again!”....Oh God, could you imagine…you’d be in the delivery room, having contractions, the nurse runs in and says “Doctor, how dilated is his asshole?” The Doctor responds, “Only 4 inches, we just have to keep waiting.” Brutal…that would be unfathomable. Men complain hardcore about having to pass a kidney stone…try having to pass a ten pound fussy creature.

On the other side of things however, if I was a woman, I’d get to be…kind and gentle, for the most part, I’d have boobs and a vag, hell ya, and I wouldn’t have to labor and exhaust myself for my families survival, instead I could clean, care for the young and buy things all day. Not bad…As you see, there’s a good and bad to everything, kindof like scissoring for example…It’s good when chicks do it, but when guys do it…bad….some guys out there are like, “No it’s not bad,“….believe me, it’s bad!…okay. Compared to beautiful women getting off by scissoring their legs together, it’s definitely bad.

Rediculously enough, I have heard people say, “Well It’s not gay if you scissor really slowly“…uh no man, if you scissor another guy at all, you’re gay…and none of this “I’m bi-sexual” b s. Woman can be bisexual…hooking up with both men and woman, but if guys hook up with both men and women, ya, they’re gay, of course they’re gay, not bisexual. Bisexuality for men just doesn’t exist, it’s simply not possible………So anyway, I kinda forget the point I was driving at here…..oh yeah, I am forever grateful I was born a man, because along with most other men, I couldn‘t handle being a woman.…woman should be appreciated and praised for more then just their looks, and that's the damn truth.

Michael Sisto