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August 23, 2016

Is Stranger Things just an elaborate origin story for the band No Doubt?


Winona Ryder’s Acting Coach Is A Ball Of Christmas Lights
Did Winona Ryder’s acting range with a ball of Christmas lights blow your mind? Well prepare to have your mind blown even more. That ball of Christmas lights has been her acting coach since Edward Scissorhands. She won’t work without it and this was the first time they got to appear together on screen.


Mike, Lucas, Dustin and Eleven Will Grow Up To Form The Band No Doubt
According to a Gwen Stefani bio on the back of an old box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch I remember reading once, the band’s 1995’s Tragic Kingdom was almost called The Upside Down. Strange, right?


The Character Eleven Is Just An Elaborate Product Placement for 7-Eleven
She eats food. 7-Eleven sells food. NOT A COINCIDENCE.


Dustin’s Tooth Gap Is The Source Of Eleven’s Powers
Eleven draws her supernatural powers from Dustin’s lack of front teeth. All these mysterious events started around the time Dustin lost his front teeth and now El is using her powers to keep them from growing in. The ripples of her actions have severe consequences, mostly that Dustin will die alone as a Wal-Mart greeter since nobody will ever date him and that’s the only job he’ll be able to hold down.

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The Main Character Of Stranger Things Is The Music
All the time you were watching the action, following the dynamic characters, and trying to unravel the surprising and nuanced plot twists you missed what was right in front of you: The Soundtrack is what this show is all about! That’s right, none of the rest of what happened in Stranger Things made any sense really if you actually think about it for more than a second, only the music. It twisted and turned and grew and was knocked down again and again. The music emerged triumphant at the end…and it got the girl ;)


The Second Season Will Follow Eleven’s Estranged Brother, Twelve, An Adolescent Boy On The Varsity Basketball Team That Turns Into A Wolf When He Gets Mad
Will be really interesting to see how the Duffer Brothers make this work because it sounds a lot like the plot to the Michael J. Fox movie, Teen Wolf. But, as masters of popular retro sci-fi genre manipulation, something tells me the Duffy boys will do just fine.

This Is What The Duffer Brothers Look Like

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It’s impossible to tell for sure, but based on clues planted throughout the dialogue of Stranger Things, this is approximately what the Duffer Brothers must look like. Not bad, huh?


You Never Even Watched Stranger Things
The whole time you thought you were watching Stranger Things it was actually just eight unreleased episodes of Gilmore Girls. There are a few Easter Eggs throughout–female characters, people drinking coffee, words being said on screen–but might be hard to catch on first watching. Raises the question as to whether the next season will also be Gilmore Girls or they’ll tackle a totally new world.