Whole Foods has announced that they will no longer sell items made by prison inmates … Betcha didn’t know they did that in the first place, huh?! Well, they won’t anymore, which means you’ll no longer be able to go there for delicious, prison-made items like:

  • Bottled Shiv Water
  • Organic toilet wine
  • Gluten-free salted caramel cake with file baked into it
  • Assorted Last Meal Leftovers (4.99/lb.)
  • Cage-bound eggs
  • Kale guacamole on a rope
  • Newman’s Own dirty needles
  • Rice-ense plates (Rice cake license plates)
  • “Fresh fish” (one whole, organic, frightened inmate)
  • gRAPES
  • Electric-chair-baked tortilla chips
  • Tunnel Mud Exfoliating Masks
  • Son Died Tomatoes (grown by bad men who killed their own sons)
  • Johnny Cash’s Folsom Prison Terra Blues Chips