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Published July 06, 2012

 

Well, another year, another river trip. Gotta love it.

A few of my buddies (Mark Awesome, Mr. Mash, JW) and I made the annual trip to Somerset, WI yet again. If you have never been, I’d say you need to experience it at least once in your life.

I will make a suggestion however, if you are old….like me….don’t plan on going for 2 days. It’s not so much the drinking that kills ya, it’s the sleeping in a crappy tent at a crappy campground. That my friends is what will make you feel like you are in a living hell.

No, really. The thermostat pushes 100+ inside that canvas hell as soon as the sun sheds light on all of the walk of shame hall of famers.

No really, if you thought college was bad, get up around 5am, grab a pop tart and water and sit back and enjoy. It’s the best comedy show ever.

Anyway, sorry for that little tangent I went on there. But man, its classic.

There are really 2 things to do at the river. 1, drink. 2, tube. That’s it and that’s all man. It’s a simple science that has had people coming back year after year.

Why? I have no idea because the river stinks and being hung-over and not being able to lie in a bed is just brutal.

On this trip, we did plenty of both.

We rolled in at about 2pm on Friday, set up shop and grabbed our tubes. Not just any tubes. PREMIUM TUBES! That is right; for $5 more you could get a tube with a head rest, cup holder, handles and it was white so the sun didn’t turn it into a fireball.

Once the excitement of the tubes subsided, we filled up our coolers, tied the tubes together and set sail on the 3+ hour trip.

Friday was fairly tame on the river, but that didn’t stop us from drinking our little hearts, or livers, out. We had a good buzz going once making our way back to our site and that is where the party started.

Our boys from Plasma made the trip this year as well. They had music blasting and a full blown dance party was on. At one point I thought it would be a great idea to get some audio for 2 shots, but even I’m afraid to listen to what might be on that recorder. Some of those people were a little out of control.

I’m sure I’ll get it up soon, just have to muster the courage to listen back to it.

After dancing the night/early morning away, it was time for bed. Ahh, 7am, perfect time to sleep. I mean, it’s not like anyone is going to wake you up in 30mins or anything.

Oh wait, that is what happened. Ugh.

Saturday morning greeted me with a good morning and a pain in my head that I can’t even began to describe.

Trying to overcome the pain, I went with the boys to get some breakfast. That did the trick, for about 30 mins. Hell, I was feeling good enough that I wanted to stop and get more beer for the day/night.

Beer purchased, premium tubes once again in hand, the day seemed like it was taking a turn for the better. Couldn’t have been more wrong.

The lack of sleep started catching up to me in a bad way. The 95 temp on the river didn’t help either. I had half of a beer….that’s it. Lame. It was at that moment that I knew I was a pussy.

Not long after finishing our river trip for the day; which would have been awesome if I wasn’t wrecked; Mr. Mash and I made the choice that it was in our best interest to make the journey home.

We just knew we weren’t going to be drunk enough to make it the whole night. Hell, when “wildcard” shows up, you know that you better start drinking or get the fuck out of town.

That is exactly what we did.

I’d love to know what happened that Saturday night, but like I said at the start; one night is all you need. So, if you and your buddies decide that the River is a place for you, go Saturday morning and leave Sunday. Trust me, you will thank me later.

 

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