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January 03, 2012

My ten favourite tweets posted by myself. Yes, I am vain.


  1. Our Secret Santa turned sour last year, when it turned out he was a child molester in fact.
  2.  Can we have honkey/cracker subtitles for when Rowland speaks?
  3. SHE tells me that IT annoys HER and SHE says I have a problem. Well that’s HER opinion, but I don’t have a PRONOUN addiction.
  4. Sorting the laundry. The only time its still acceptable in 2011 to say, “divide up the whites and the coloureds please”.
  5. Went past a car with Princess on Board sticker. Hope they’re prepared for the paparazzi chasing them and the subsequent crash into a tunnel.
  6. Haha, this old lady at the ATM is a fool. No point in covering the keypad, I can see your PIN is XXXX. Lucky for her I don’t mug old ladies.
  7. If one more person wishes me Merry Christmas, they will not make the next one as I will have decimated their face. Its over people!
  8.  the Rohypnol wore off and then you were all like “who are you” and “get off me”. You changed.
  9. She’s talking about Dundee, isn’t she, that ? # we found love in a hopeless place # gotta be Dundee
  10. When I see the dude collecting trolleys at the shopping centre, I always imagine they have some fascinating back-story. I’m really deep.