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June 23, 2010


The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has this morning issued the immediate seizure of all of Temple Airline's (TA) aircraft and demanded the grounding of its pilots pending further investigation.

Although all the facts are not clear at this stage, we do know that Billionaire and television's badass boss, Donald Trump of 'The Apprentice' fame, had provided the FAA with video footage taken on April 1st 2010 showing both pilots smoking in the cockpit of the Airbus A380 plane and playing very loud rock music over the intercom - prior to take-off. It is unclear how Donald Trump obtained access to security camera tapes, but several employees of Temple Airlines have recently taken early retirement and moved to the Bahamas.

Trump along with other passengers had smelt 'herbal fumes' and refused to fly on the plane with the other 550 passengers. As a direct consequence, Trump was unable to attend a Washington fundraiser organised by The White House to raise much needed TARP funds for another bank bailout.

The FAA has recently announced that pilots will be allowed to fly if they are in possession of a medical certificate but only in circumstances where depression is involved.Temple Airlines (TA) now has 7 days in which to produce documents showing it had obtained special issuance of the medical certificates for its pilots that otherwise would have barred them from all flying duties.

“I’m outraged and upset over this,” said Kelsey Grammer Co-Owner of  TA, who is currently basking and soaking in critical praise for his appearance on Broadway in 'La Cage Aux Folles', but who is best known for playing Niles on NBC's 'Frasier' for 35 seasons. "In fact I am outraged, upset and terribly angry because Bill Zucker, who is supposed to be my business and comedic partner, is one of the pilots involved..oh Damn You Zucker!."

FAA Investigator Dandy Pandite stated: “We are going to get to the bottom of this and will leave no stone or temple unturned, it is just wonderful that such a kind and caring citizen like Donald Trump did the honourable thing and tipped us off."

The identity of the second pilot has not been officially released. We do know that she is a blonde-haired female who is described as looking like Lydia Cornell the actress from ABC's 'Too Close for Comfort’ and extremely sexy in uniform.

Bill Zucker Pilot, Entrepreneur, Musician, Social Media Guru and co-owner of TA was not available to comment as he was on his way back on his boat from a Toilet Paper business trip in Cuba. Donald Trump was too busy firing people to speak to us so that he could get to Cuba faster than Zucker and The White House were not prepared to comment on the record.

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