HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE ALICE B. TOKLAS EPISODE OF TOP CHEF [transcript]
PADMA LAKSHMI: Okay,what’s the game plan, lady?
ALICE B. TOKLAS: Peaches. Fresh are preferable, though canned ones can be substituted.
PADMA: These look fresh as summer.
ALICE: Poach in1½ cups of water, then place in a chafing dish, adding ¼ cup of sugar and ¾ cup peach brandy.
PADMA: Sounds delish!
ALICE: When the syrup is about to boil, light and ladle it over the peaches. Serve each peach lighted.
PADMA: Oooooooooh, a flambé! So fun!
ALICE: Dawn comes slowly but dusk is rapid.
PADMA: Ah… oh-kay. She’s making a flambé, everyone.
GAIL SIMMONS: Alice, do you subscribe to a general culinary philosophy?
ALICE: In the menu, there should be a climax and a culmination. Come to it gently. One will suffice.
GAIL: What a simple and perfectly risqué take on cuisine design.
ALICE: Almost anything Saint Theresa did, you can do better if you can bear to be ravished by un évanouissement reveillé.
GAIL: Uhm, oui, je ne sais quoi, si vous plais, bon appetit.
RICHARD BLAIS: What are you going for when you grill veal? What temperature?
ALICE: Just enough.
RICHARD: It seems undercooked. Look how pink, pink, pink this is!
ALICE: Illness sets the mind free sometimes to roam and surmise.
RICHARD: I still wouldn’t eat this.
TOM COLICCHIO: I see that for the Quickfire Challenge you chose to enrobe the duck breasts in a couverture chocolate demi-glaze?
ALICE: Godiva was tired and old and Gertrude Stein in spring bought a new car.
TOM: Ri-ight. And what about—are you lighting a cigarette? I’m afraid you can’t smoke in here, Ms. Toklas.
ALICE: I’m trying to stop trying.
TOM: Well, maybe just trying stopping.
PADMA: So,viewers might like to know that you’ve actually written a cookbook?
ALICE: I am a pretty good housekeeper and a pretty good gardener…
PADMA: Oh, do you grow—
ALICE: And a pretty good needlewoman and a pretty good secretary…
ALICE: And a pretty good vet for dogs and I have to do them all at once…
ALICE: And I found it difficult to add being a pretty good author.
PADMA: So… youdidwrite a cookbook or you didn’t?
TOM: Now, before we taste this fudge, did I notice you slipping something in? It looked like hash.
TOM: You brought hashish onto the show?
TOM: Were you going to warn us?
TOM: Well, what’re we waiting for? Let’s dig in.
ALICE: It is a pleasure to retire before such a fact.
TOM: Come again?