1. The word "Paparazzi" means pest, and everyone in Hollywood is really proud to know an Italian word.
2. Always have an answer prepared for the question "Hey, what are you doing behind that bush"?
3. Instagram took err jerbs!
4. We can't use the key under the mat, even though we know it's there.
5. A picture is worth a thousand bucks.
6. David Faustino is not "picture worthy".
7. The irnoy of my mentor yelling at me "stop following me around, it's so annoying" is lost on him.
8. Shawarma is the most coveted food to find a celebrity eat.
9. No matter how many years you've been doing this, it's still an unbelievably exciting experience to see the stars you love from TV standing just two feet away from you, screaming at you to "fuck the hell off and die".
10. Any physical touch between two celebrities- including: handshakes, fist bumps and bro hugs- could count as a secret affair.
11. It's a good day if they die hard.
12. Drunk pictures of Lindsay Lohan aren't worth much anymore. But a picture of her sober, eating at a restaurant with a knife and fork is gold!
13. You're not doing your job right until Alec Baldwin hits you in the face.
14. You know you took a good picture when it makes you not want to sleep with that celebrity anymore.
15. Check in advance which internships count as college credit.
(Illustrated by: Tom Trager)